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Though this is generally well-written, it needs simplification. Where you have compound sentences, replace them with two (or even more) shorter, clearer sentences. Scrub for unnecessarily complex words.Mringaterutgers (talk) 01:15, 25 November 2013 (UTC)
The references need to be fixed. Rather than having a separate footnote for every reference to a source, you re-use the footnote. See the posted link to citation formats.Mringaterutgers (talk) 01:19, 25 November 2013 (UTC)