The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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• Promoted. HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 15:18, 15 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Nominator(s): Hawkeye7 (talk)

Kenney commanded the Allied Air Forces in the South West Pacific Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:45, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments, leaning Support -- curious that this review's taken so long to get going...

• "He quit MIT after his father left" -- I assume this means after his father abandoned the family, not after his father left MIT, which is how I read it the first time...
  • Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (talk) 12:31, 20 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• "building a bridge in New London, Connecticut" -- can we elaborate, like "designed" or "supervised"?
  • No, we are stuck with it. Changed the next sentence though to avoid repetition. Hawkeye7 (talk) 12:31, 20 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• "Building a good relationship with MacArthur meant getting past Sutherland, MacArthur's chief of staff" -- does Sutherland have a rank and first name? I don't recall our being introduced earlier..
  • Yes, he appears and is linked in the Between the Wards section. Hawkeye7 (talk) 12:31, 20 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• The para beginning "Major Paul I. "Pappy" Gunn modified some USAAF Douglas A-20 Havoc light bombers" is interesting enough, I guess, but seems too detailed and technical to belong in this bio.
  • I wanted to emphasise some of the technical aspects of aerial warfare. Also, a bit on why Kenney chose to wrote a book on Pappy. Hawkeye7 (talk) 12:31, 20 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• Just an observation, me 'ole dad always scoffed at the idea that "The Mitchell crews developed a new technique called skip bombing", as he and No. 459 Squadron had already used just such a technique with their Hudsons in North Africa to sink German ships... ;-)
  • I deliberately used "developed" rather than "invented". Changed to "adopted". I've always believed that the impetus came from Bill Garing, but I have no source on that. Added a bit more. Hawkeye7 (talk) 12:31, 20 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• Aside from the above, structure, prose, coverage, image licensing, and reference quality all appear fine (note I haven't done a detailed source review à la Nikki).

Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 06:28, 20 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

• Changes look okay, tks. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 11:29, 25 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

• Support
  • No dab links [1] (no action required).
  • External links check out [2] (no action required).
  • Some images lack Alt Text [3] so you might consider adding it (suggestion only - not an ACR requirement).
  • The Citation Check Tool reveals an error with reference consolidation:
  • Images are all public domain or licensed and seem appropriate to the article (no action required).
  • The Earwig Tool reveals no issues with copyright violations [4] (only comes up with a wiki mirror) (no action required).
  • This seems a little abrupt: "He is best known as the commander of the Allied Air Forces in the Southwest Pacific Area (SWPA) from August 1942 until 1945." Perhaps consider something like: "He is best known as the commander of the Allied Air Forces in the Southwest Pacific Area (SWPA), a position he held from August 1942 until 1945." (suggestion only). Anotherclown (talk) 06:12, 28 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 00:35, 5 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Support: well done as usual. I made a few tweaks, please check that you are happy with these and adjust as you see fit. Other suggestions that I have are as follows:

• the photo caption says "Captain Kenney during World War I", but the text says he was promoted on 18 March 1919, which would have been after the war. Perhaps the photo should be captioned "Captain Kenney shortly after World War I"?
  • Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 19:45, 10 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• could this be simplified: "he flew reconnaissance missions along the border with Mexico at a time when the situation was very disturbed as a result of the Mexican Revolution" --> "he flew reconnaissance missions along the border with Mexico during the Mexican Revolution"?;
  • Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 19:45, 10 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• "he accepted command of the 89th Observation Squadron at Mitchell Field, New York": when was this?
  • He assumed command in October 1938. Griffith says 89th Observation Squadron, but Fogerty says 97th. A check reveals that the 97th was the one based at Mitchell Field, so went with that. Hawkeye7 (talk) 19:45, 10 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• "Sutherland, who had a civil pilot's license, had taken to issuing detailed instructions to the Army Forces." --> "Army Air Forces"?
  • Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 19:45, 10 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• is there a way to reword these sentences a little so that you reduce the number of times you say "instantaneous fuse": "Walker resisted Kenney's proposals that the bombers conduct attacks from low level using bombs armed with instantaneous fuses.[47] Kenney ordered Walker to try the instantaneous fuses for a couple of months, so that data could be gained about their effectiveness;[48] a few weeks later Kenney discovered that Walker had discontinued the use of the instantaneous fuses."
  • Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 19:45, 10 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• I found the introduction of this paragraph a little abrupt: "Major Paul I. "Pappy" Gunn modified some USAAF Douglas A-20 Havoc light bombers by..."
  • Added some bridging text. Hawkeye7 (talk) 19:45, 10 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• Is it possible to hyperlink Note 2 ("The National Cyclopaedia...") so that it is presented the same as the other notes?
  • Yes. Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 19:45, 10 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• in the References, are there page numbers that could be added for the Wolk chapter in Leary's book?
  • Done. Hawkeye7 (talk)

AustralianRupert (talk) 13:52, 10 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

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The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.