Comments from Dabomb87 (talk · contribs) I'm copy-editing, but these are questions that I have:
- Since you put it that way, I'll answer the questions directly instead of changing the article. I hope that's alright. -- Goodraise (talk) 00:03, 23 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- "The crew decides to divide the work by drawing straws." What work?
- This is referring to the work described in the following sentences. -- Goodraise (talk) 00:03, 23 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Can you clarify this? Dabomb87 (talk) 02:53, 3 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- It refers to: "Luffy, Zoro, and Usopp are sent to gather the fruit while Nami and Sanji survey the island. Chopper is left to guard the ship." -- Goodraise (talk) 03:37, 3 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"He enjoys himself" So is he generally enjoying guarding the ship or does he do something that leads to his enjoyment?
- He imagines being captain and giving orders, but the scene is only a few seconds long and I don't think it needs to be mentioned—at least not to adequately summarize the episode. -- Goodraise (talk) 00:03, 23 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- "them obscure items" What do you mean by "obscure"? Hard to see, or unknown?
- It was meant to mean "difficult to understand", but I just re-examined those items and it turns out they aren't (except for me and Luffy). How about "He offers them a variety of items, including a pile of paper that he tries to sell to Nami."? -- Goodraise (talk) 00:03, 23 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- "first-class soup" A bit too colloquial. Dabomb87 (talk) 20:21, 22 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- A number of words come to mind that could replace it ("outstanding", "excellent", ...) but "first-class" is as far as I can tell the most fitting one. Perhaps you're referring to the fact that it describes the soup as being of high quality. In that case I'll have to clarify that it is not the soup as such, but its quality, that has the effect on him. -- Goodraise (talk) 00:03, 23 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Do so. Dabomb87 (talk) 02:53, 3 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Done. (Though I'm not sure if my change makes it that much better...) -- Goodraise (talk) 03:37, 3 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Note I confess I had forgotten about this, I'll try to return tomorrow or Tuesday, so don't archive this nomination just yet. Dabomb87 (talk) 01:46, 30 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- "At the day's end, as they are about to leave" Please clarify in the text who "they" are.
- "Zoro eventually realizes it, but by the time he convinces the others to leave, Nami already lost the Straw Hats' ship in a game of chess." Please clarify in the text what "it" is. Dabomb87 (talk) 02:55, 3 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I'll try to finish tomorrow. Dabomb87 (talk) 02:58, 3 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Don't stress yourself. It's ultimately my fault for nominating sub-standard lists. I promise to do better in the future. -- Goodraise (talk) 03:37, 3 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- "Sanji has a violent encounter with a tax collector, wearing an electric battle suit." So who is wearing the battle suit, Sanji or the tax collector? Suggest "Sanji has a violent encounter with a tax collector, who is wearing an electric battle suit."
- "eventually was locked up in the brig of the wreck of a navy ship" Who locked him up?
- "When Lapanui hears Whetton's name, he loses his trust." His trust of whom?
- "Whetton orders his men to invade." Invade what?
These are the last issues. Dabomb87 (talk) 17:11, 4 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- All addressed.[3] -- Goodraise (talk) 00:33, 5 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
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