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• Is everything in the article relevant to the article topic? Is there anything that distracted you?
  • All the information relevant to the topic, but the article is too short. There are not anything distracted me, but i feel like we can add more to the topic since there are a lot of resources we can depend on.
• Is any information out of date? Is anything missing that could be added?
  • All sources pretty much up to date. Maybe we can add more information on promoting fair workplaces and more section such as why the organization is a good thing in today society or what makes a difference for women.
• What else could be improved?
  • Is the article neutral? Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position?
    • The article is argument for a better paid for women, and also like a informational article.
  • Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented?
    • No, there are not.
  • Check a few citations. Do the links work? Does the source support the claims in the article?
    • I check most of the sources and it's working and it is support the article, but I found one source that it won't show me any more information, but just a little intro to the information.
  • Is each fact referenced with an appropriate, reliable reference? Where does the information come from? Are these neutral sources? If biased, is that bias noted?
    • Yes, most reference are appropriate, but if i would editing the article i would conduct a deeper research and add more sources because i feel like there are only few primary sources.

• Is everything in the article relevant to the article topic? Is there anything that distracted you?
  • The article is really short, but yes the article is relevant to the topic.
• Is any information out of date? Is anything missing that could be added?
  • no, but more sources should to be added to the article.
• What else could be improved?
  • The introduction and evaluating should be longer. It will be better if there are more primary sources to support some of the point in evaluating. More sub-heading would be better too.
• Is the article neutral? Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position?
  • There is no argument or claims, it is more like introduction to gender expression in general.
• Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented?
  • Because the length of the article there are no overrepresented or underrepresented viewpoint.
• Check a few citations. Do the links work? Does the source support the claims in the article?
  • Yes, all the sources work and do support the topic.
• Is each fact referenced with an appropriate, reliable reference? Where does the information come from? Are these neutral sources? If biased, is that bias noted?
  • All three sources are reliable and appropriate for the topic.

10/9/18

Henrichs-Beck, C., & Szymanski, D. M. (2017). Gender expression, body–gender identity incongruence, thin ideal internalization, and lesbian body dissatisfaction. Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity, 4(1), 23-33. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/sgd0000214

The research hypothesis is to examine how gender express impact lesbian body dissatisfaction. The studies had found that gender expression affecting most on feminism with who are having greater stereotypical traits. They tend to express more emotional and unsatisfied of how their body look, while those who experience masculine stereotypical trait are less likely to express emotional and are at lower risk.^[1]

Gender ranking is the process through which masculine behaviors and expressions are valued over feminine ones.^[2]

Heinze, J. E., & Horn, S. S. (2014). Do Adolescents’ Evaluations of Exclusion Differ Based on Gender Expression and Sexual Orientation? Journal of Social Issues, 70(1), 63–80. https://doi.org/10.1111/josi.12047

Header: Risk factors; abuse among transgender generation

Being different can be danger and hurtful either emotional or physical. People who consider themselves as transgender or other gender than the gender binary, are experience some emotional or physical abuse and some kind of violence from today society. People tend to misunderstand their identity and not accept other identity than what society has been have understand about gender and sex. Throughout the United States, problem like bias-motivated aggression are affecting many people because people identify their identity differently and a lot of people are experience their true identity than the one assigned at birth.

According to Sloan, el at.. ^[3] research on bias-motivated aggression found that most aggression behavior are toward gay, feminine opponent, but most aggression was reveal in feminine heterosexual opponent. Regardless to the psychology of aggression^[4] , aggression are defined as "a response that delivers noxious stimuli to another organism", based on some reasons. According to Buss, the first reason is to pursued certain goal. In this case, gay, feminine opponent, and feminine heterosexual are being target because they are different from what society expected. Second reason is that at certain event if aggressive response as flight, it give the person who created the aggression to be powerful and will be more likely to create aggression toward the victim more. Again, because gender in society define as male and female only, people who identify themselves different have less recognition tend to have less power so they are being target by aggression in society.

note: The way people expression themselves is by their gender identity. People who are consider themselves either heterosexual, homosexual, agender, bigender, ect.. are express in different way, but still are human beings is just that their gender at birth does not alignment with their prefer identities.

For this first draft, I decided to add a section about Cultural Feminism and its belief on Male and Female Sexuality, since I the ideas to be interesting as I was reading my sources:

When it comes to differences in male and female masculinity, cultural feminists have many ideas. in In her article, Cultural Feminism: Feminist Capitalism and the Anti-Pornography Movement, Alice Echols states that, "Cultural Feminists define male and female sexuality as though they were polar opposites. Male sexuality is driven, irresponsibly, genitally oriented, and potentially lethal. Female sexuality is muted, diffused, and interpersonally oriented" (1983,47). ^[1]When it comes to male and female sexuality, cultural feminists have also created many writings that are identified by "their denigration of masculinity rather than male roles or practices, by their valorization of female traits, and by their commitment to preserve rather than diminish gender differences" (Alcoff, 1988,411). ^[2] Therefore, cultural feminists believe that that instead of criticizing male roles and practices, they denote the idea of masculinity and try to empower women and praise femininity.

• The draft draw conclusions or try to convince the reader to accept one particular point of view?
  • Yes, the last sentence conclude the point of the paragraph.

• Are there any words or phrases that don't feel neutral?
  • There are none, all words are direct quotes from the sources. Not really explain what they main or put in their own word.

• Does the draft make claims on behalf of unnamed groups or people?
  • No
• Does the draft focus too much on negative or positive information?
  • It is more like informational draft
• Are there any unsourced statements in the draft, or statements that you can't find stated in the references?
  • There are none. They cited all their sources correctly.

Being different can be dangerous and hurtful either emotional or physical. People who consider themselves as transgender or another gender's identity than the gender binary would experience some emotional or physical abuse and some kind of harassment from today society. Throughout the United States, a problem like bias-motivated aggression, violence and bully is affecting many people because they identify or expressed their identities differently than their true identity that was assigned at birth.

According to Sloan, el at..(2014) ^[3] research on bias-motivated aggression found that most aggression behaviors are toward gay people, feminine opponent, but most aggression was reveal in the feminine heterosexual opponent. Regardless to the psychology of aggression^[4] , aggression is defined as "a response that delivers noxious stimuli to another organism", based on some reasons. In this case, gay, feminine opponent, and feminine heterosexual are being targeted because they are different from what society expected. The second reason is that at a certain event if aggressive response as flight, it gives the person who created the aggression to be powerful and will be more likely to create aggression toward the victim more.

However, there is another study has done by Gordon et al. (2018) called “Gender Expression, Violence, and bullying Victimization: Findings from Probability samples of High School Students in 4 US School Districts”. ^[5]The research found that “bullying and violence directed at adolescents who do not conform to societal expectations for masculine or feminine appearance and behavior” and was highly toward lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender because those victims are conformity and nonconformity to the gender norms. Victims are also facing mental and physical health issues affect the harassment at school. The result supports the fact that no matter who you are and what is your race if your gender expression is different from the gender binary in society, you will be facing some kind of threats and judgment.

Again, because gender in a society defines only as male and female, people who identify or express themselves differently, has less recognition and tend to have less power, that's what makes them target by aggression and violence in society.

Some the points I made in my first draft was kind of confused and unclear, so I re-read my first draft then figure out what should I add or delete. I end up deleted some stuff and tried to make it clear and concise. I went back re-wrote my thesis because I want to add another main idea. I did more research and found a recently studies on high school kids who are the victim of violence because of their gender expression.