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Reviewer: LightandDark2000 🌀 (talk) 08:31, 5 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

This article is pretty well-written, though there are a handful of issues that need to be taken care of. These are mostly grammar and word choice issues. The sources have serious issues, however, but I took care of those (please see my comments on those, as these are serious infractions). LightandDark2000 🌀 (talk) 08:31, 5 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

• Fay originated from a surface low that formed over the Northern Gulf of Mexico on July 3 and slowly drifted east before crossing over the Florida Panhandle and drifting across the Southeastern United States as a well-defined low pressure system, emerging off the coast of North Carolina on July 8. This is a run-on. I would sugguest splitting up the sentence and revising it to something like this: "Fay originated from a surface low that formed over the Northern Gulf of Mexico on July 3 and slowly drifted eastward, before crossing over the Florida Panhandle. The system subsequently drifted across the Southeastern United States as a well-defined low pressure system, before emerging off the coast of North Carolina on July 8.
  • Y Done. Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:47, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• From there the storm utilized favorable conditions for developing, Add a comma after "there". Also, change "developing" to "development".
  • Y. Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:47, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• The storm intensified reaching a peak strength with winds of 60 mph (95 km/h) and a pressure of 998 hPa (29.47 inHg) before shifting westward and landfalling in New Jersey later on July 10. There are some wording issues. Also, you need to specify that the wind speeds used are 1-minut sustained winds, and the storm did not move westward. Change to "The storm intensified, reaching its peak intensity on July 10, with maximum 1-minute sustained winds of 60 mph (95 km/h) and a minimum central pressure of 998 millibars (29.5 inHg), while moving northward, making landfall on New Jersey later that day."
  • Y. Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:47, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• its deep convective activity, or thunderstorms, Save this explanation for the MH section. You can trim out "or thunderstorms" and move this chunk into the MH.
• and rapidly degenerated into a post-tropical cyclone over New York on July 11 before being absorbed by a larger extratropical low over Quebec on July 12. Add a comma after "July 11".
  • Y Done. Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:47, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• before it was officially a tropical cyclone, This is unnecessary. You can delete this chunk. The average reader should be able to figure that out on their own.
• Y Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:47, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• Afterwards, Tropical Storm Fay brought high winds and stormy weather After what? Landfall? Please be more specific. If this happened after landfall, change to "After landfall" or "Following landfall".
  • Y Done. Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:47, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• were flooded and impassable, This bit here is a little awkward. Change "impassable" to "were left impassable".
  • Y Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:47, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Meteorological history

• Fay could first be traced back to a decaying trough of frontal origin which was drifting across the southeastern United States on July 1 and 2. Change "could" to "can". Add a comma after "origin". Also change "southeastern United States on July 1 and 2" to "Southeastern United States on July 1–2". (Use the special dash symbol for separating numbers.)
  • Y Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:47, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• around 06:00 UTC July 6. Change to "around 06:00 UTC on July 6". Also link "UTC" to Coordinated Universal Time.
  • Y Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:47, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• confirmed the feature had a small radius of 1-minute sustained winds up to 35 mph (55 km/h), Does the NHC specify how large the wind radius was? If so, you should include it here.
  • BT indicates radius of maximum winds was 90 nmi, added. Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:47, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• but was accompanied by a large disorganized area of thunderstorms and thus didn't fit criteria to be deemed one. Change to "but was accompanied by a large, disorganized area of thunderstorms, and thus, didn't fit the NHC's criteria to be deemed a tropical cyclone". And also link thunderstorms. This sentence is currently a run-on. Also, you need to specify that this is the NHC's criteria that you're referring to.
  • Y Fixed. Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:56, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• Whilst inland, Change "Whilst" to "While". This article is supposed to use American English, not British English. This is the case for the vast majority of articles on storms in the NATL and EPAC basins. Make this correction anywhere else it may be required in the article.
  • Y Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:56, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• crossing over southern South Carolina before emerging in the Western Atlantic on 8 July. Change to "crossing over southern South Carolina, before emerging into the western Atlantic on July 8." Use the Month Day, Year format instead of the Day Month Year format for all dates. This is the American English standard.
  • Y Fixed. Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:56, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• the thunderstorm activity of the low increased as it moved northeastward parallel to the coast of North Carolina with a sudden slow in its forward speed. Change to "the thunderstorm activity of the low increased as it moved northeastward, parallel to the coast of North Carolina, even as the system experienced a sudden slowing in its forward motion."
  • Y Fixed. Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:56, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• and detected a circulation center Change "circulation center" to "low-level circulation center", since this is what determines if the system is even classified as a TC at all.
  • Y Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:56, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• which indicated a reformation of the original low level center with the development of strong convection just east of Cape Hatteras. Change to "which indicated a reformation of the original low-level circulation center, with the development of strong convection just east of Cape Hatteras.
  • Y Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:56, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• and an approaching trough on the opposite side. On the opposite side of what? Please be more specific.
  • Y Fixed. Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:56, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• Fay strengthened slightly throughout the day of July 10, reaching a peak strength with 1-minute sustained winds of 60 mph (95 km/h) and a minimum central pressure of 998 hPa (29.47 iNhg) despite some southwesterly wind shear causing it to entrain dry air and present a non-classical tropical cyclone structure. Change to "On July 10, Fay strengthened throughout the day, reaching its peak intensity, with 1-minute sustained winds of 60 mph (95 km/h) and a minimum central pressure of 998 millibars (29.5 inHg), despite some southwesterly wind shear. This wind shear caused the storm to entrain dry air, which gave it a non-classical tropical cyclone structure."
  • Y Fixed. Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:56, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• just east of the Delmarva peninsula. Change to "just east of the Delmarva Peninsula". Also add a comma after "Peninsula".
  • Y Fixed. Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:56, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• Fay made landfall just north-northeast of Atlantic City, New Jersey Change the links to "Atlantic City, New Jersey". We usually link the locations and the states/provinces separately. Also, add a comma after "New Jersey".
  • Y Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:56, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• the system was already losing some of its tropical characteristics with rapidly decreasing amounts of thunderstorms near the center and the deepest convection displaced well to the east and southeast of the center. Add a comma after "characteristics".
  • Y Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:56, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• Fay continued weakening as it moved northward through New Jersey and weakened into a tropical depression as it crossed into southeastern New York. Add a comma after "New Jersey".
  • Y Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:56, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
• It then transitioned into a post-tropical cyclone as the center became devoid of deep convection early on July 11. Change to "Early on July 11, the system transitioned into a post-tropical cyclone, as the center became devoid of deep convection".
  • Y Hurricaneboy23 (page) * (talk) 19:56, 9 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Preparations

• Link "Trump campaign" to Donald Trump 2020 presidential campaign.

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 00:37, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• Jersey Shorelocals were advised to avoid the coast due to the threat of high waves while community leaders began to take precautions to diminish flooding threats, such as lowering water levels in nearby lakes. Obvious typo. Add a space after "Shore". Also add a comma after "high waves".

•  Done by someone else. CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 00:37, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• released a statement on July 9 urging New York State residents to stay alert and cautious due to the impending severe weather conditions, highlighting a significant chance of flash flooding. Add a comma after "July 9" and also after "cautious".

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 00:37, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Impacts

• and becoming an EF0 tornado which lofted an umbrella. Add a comma after "tornado".

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 00:37, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• Northeastern U.S, There should be a period after the "S" as well, before the comma. Also, link "Northeastern U.S." to Northeastern United States.

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 00:37, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• produced gale-force winds along the Delaware coast, Link Delaware.

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 00:37, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• reaching 1 to 2.5 ft (0.30 to 0.76 m) deep in Bethany Beach. Change "reaching" to "reaching depths of".

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 00:37, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• including just south of Change to "including the area just south of".

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 00:37, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• Link Tidal flooding.

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 00:37, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• Link Pennsylvania at the first mention in this section.

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 00:37, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• Pennypack Creek exceeded its flood stage of 7 ft (2.1 m) sending floodwaters flowing near Philadelphia. Add a comma after "(2.1 m)".

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 00:37, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• Fay also dropped heavy rainfall, reaching Change "reaching" to "totaling".

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 00:37, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• towns including Add a comma after "towns".

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 00:37, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• with gusts to Change to "with gusts up to".

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 00:37, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• An 18-year-old swimmer who rescued two of his friends from drowning eventually drowned in Atlantic City. Did this guy drown in the city or off the coast? If he drowned in the ocean, please make the appropriate corrections.

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 00:37, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• at Atlantic City and Raritan Bay respectively on July 11 and later died from their injuries. Change to "at Atlantic City and Raritan Bay, respectively, on July 11, and later died from their injuries." This is a run-on as it is, right now.

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 00:37, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• briefly spawned an EF-0 tornado, formerly a waterspout over Baker Lake, Change this to "briefly spawned a waterspout over Baker Lake, which became an EF-0 tornado once it moved ashore." We want the sequential order to flow as directly as possible.

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 00:37, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Images

• For the rainfall map's caption, change "July 9-11 2020." to "July 9–11, 2020". Numbers in a range need to use the longer, special dash. Also, the date is clearly missing a comma.

•  Done by someone else. CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 00:37, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

References

• The vast majority of NHC sources have inconsistent formatting. They should all be identical, and also be identical to the format used in other high-quality NATL TC articles (see Hurricane Isaias, Hurricane Beryl, and Hurricane Lane (2018), for example). None of the names in the NHC advisories should use all caps. I've fixed this issues (see the link below). I don't know who did these citations, but they're chock full of issues.
• Also, many sources are missing the names of the authors, and also the date and/or the accessdate. The dating formats used are also inconsistent. The NHC sources should all have the names of the authors, and any news article that provides that author's name should have it included as well. This is a very serious issue that would fail any GAN (let alone an FAC) if it is left unaddressed. I've gone through the article and fixed the sourcing issues for you, which you can see here. Please take some time to review those changes. Citations on tropical cyclone articles should be done according to this tutorial that I wrote.

These are all of the issues that I have identified. The article is still needs to more work, but otherwise, it is pretty close to GA status. (I corrected a few of the listed issues to make things a little easier on you, while I was working on fixing the citation issues.) I have another midterm and an assignment due in the next couple of days, so I may not be able to get back to this until Wednesday or Thursday (April 7 or 8). LightandDark2000 🌀 (talk) 08:31, 5 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, very good. Now, for the remaining issues (see below). LightandDark2000 🌀 (talk) 06:11, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• The preparations and impacts sections need more expansion. Especially the impacts section. For a storm like Fay, there are definitely more impacts out there. As we've discussed off-wiki, use the NCDC's storm report archives to dig up reports on the impacts, and then update the article with those. Here is the link for New Jersey. You can also see Tropical Storm Karen (2013) and Potential Tropical Cyclone Ten to get an idea of how this information can be used, and also how the storm reports should be cited. Otherwise, everything else looks good. I'll review this article again after everything is done. LightandDark2000 🌀 (talk) 06:10, 10 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

• Six people were killed by rip currents and flooding related to the storm. The infobox has 7 deaths total. Change "Six people" to "Seven people" in the lead.

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 17:02, 2 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Impacts

• Augusta, Georgia recorded its wettest July day on record with 4.64 inches (117 mm) falling in 24 hours, Add a comma after "on record". Also, change "July day" to "day in July".

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 17:02, 2 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• US$4,000 worth of property damage occurred in Ringgold when a severe thunderstorm generated by the disturbance caused 60 mph (95 km/h) winds in the city causing trees to become uprooted or topple over onto homes. This sentence is a run-on. Add a comma after "Ringgold" and after "in the city".

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 17:02, 2 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• Hunting Island State Park in South Carolina recorded at least 12.75 inches (323 mm) of rain due to the disturbance and was required to be closed, alongside the loss of over 100 sea turtle nests which were within the park boundaries. This sentence is a little awkward. You can change "was required to be closed" to "had to be closed", since the modification would be more concise. Also, change "closed, alongside the loss of over 100 sea turtles nests which were within the park boundaries" to "closed; 100 sea turtle nests were also destroyed within the park boundaries."

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 17:02, 2 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• Beachgoers on the North Carolina coast observed two waterspouts on with one of them coming ashore and becoming an EF0 tornado which lofted an umbrella, There are multiple errors here. The sentence says "on" but specifies nothing afterward. Please add the date, and also add a comma after the date. Change "lofted" to "lifted", since this is an obvious typo.

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 17:02, 2 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• New Jersey Routes 10, 35, 45, 66, and 77 and were additionally flooded and closed. This sounds a little awkward. Move "additionally" to the front of the sentence, so that it reads: "Additionally, Jew Jersey Routes...".

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 17:02, 2 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• A trained spotter reported floodwaters near Gloucester City Middle School reached up to 2–4 ft (0.6–1.2 m) deep. Changed "reached up to" to "as deep as". You can also remove "deep" from the end of the sentence.
• Social media reported a railroad overpass in Hoboken was flooded; cars were left unable to move with water up to the car doors. Add "that" after "reported". Also, add a comma after "unable to move".

•  Done by someone else. CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 17:02, 2 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• 18 residents in Newark, New Jersey were required to be rescued from floodwaters by the Newark Fire Department, most being stranded within their vehicles. Change "were required to be rescued" to "had to be rescued". Also, change "most being stranded" to "most of whom were stranded".

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 17:02, 2 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• An unidentified teenager in Eastern New Jersey was pulled underwater in a strong current and their body was never recovered, presumably having drowned according to a media report. Was this death caused by a rip current? If so, please specify it as such, and change "strong current" to "strong rip current". Also, add a comma after "drowned".

•  Done CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 17:02, 2 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Sources

• You forgot to add the access-dates for each of the NCDC Storm Event sources that you added. Those are the dates in which you found and read the sources. I went ahead and added those for you.

•  Done Pro forma, as LightandDark2000 did it. CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 17:02, 2 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@LightandDark2000: Should be everything. :) CodingCyclone! 🌀 📘 17:16, 2 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

These are all of the remaining issues that I have found. They are mostly minor issues (such as grammar and wording issues) and should be easy to correct. This article is close to GA status; it just needs a little more work. LightandDark2000 🌀 (talk) 01:12, 2 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Copyvio check

• I ran a copyvio check using Earwig's Copyvio Detector tool. The results came back as an ~11% match, so it looks like we're clear on copyvios here. LightandDark2000 🌀 (talk) 01:31, 3 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

   Great job! Congratulations on getting this article to GA! LightandDark2000 🌀 (talk) 01:31, 3 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]