The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
[[History of aviation|a new age has begun]] – this also feels like an easter egg. I would remove the link since history of aviation is mentioned in the next paragraph.
I reread the source and you're right; it's a full sentence. Done
Commas after "fiction, documentary", Robert M. Young and "still photographer" (American English).
Done
"Television documentarian and historian Jon Wilkman was also "briefly" involved in pre-production. NASA, the Office of Naval Research, and California Institute of Technology were also involved in the production." – remove the double use of "also" in consecutive sentences.
Done
Add a "the" before California Institute of Technology.
"the best film for 11 years he and Freeman worked on together" – please reword
What you you think of the current, Some Dude From North Carolina?
"directed and filmed ... frequently switching roles" – it should be made clear that you're partially talking about the cinematographer.
I changed "filmed" to "cinematographed" if that's oki.
"Because the IMAX screen is enormous, audiences sits relatively close to the screen and "the new center lies approximately one-third up from the bottom of the screen"." – This sentence sounds like an explanation of IMAX theaters. How does this relate to the rest of the paragraph?
This is relevant as it mentions the photography term headroom: because what looks small in conventional screens will be gigantic in IMAX, plenty of space was provided so the subject doesn't seem too close.
"latter was treated" → "latter were treated"
I can't seem to find this sentence?
"hot-air-balloon" → "hot-air balloon"
Done
"Some lenses specifically built for Hasselblad cameras" – is there a "were" missing in between this sentence?
I tweaked the whole sentence for more clarity.
Yuma Desert[14] took over four months to choreograph. → Yuma Desert took over four months to choreograph.[14]
I disagree. The Yuma Desert part is the only one mentioned in ref 1, while ref 14 is where I got the "four months" and "time consuming" parts. I moved it to the back though.
"hits a screen ... and shattered it" – what type of screen? Like, the camera screen?
Yep, clarified.
"pointing the ground" – word missing?
Done
"time period" – you can remove either one of those words and the sentence still works.
"They also learned from 2001: A Space Odyssey the importance of movement." → "They also learned about the importance of movement from 2001: A Space Odyssey."
Done
A lot of sentences in #Space_sequence use past-tense and poor vocabulary. Examples include "they learned something small like stars on an IMAX presentation is nothing on a traditional presentation" and the sentence that ends with "is impossible". Please make sure this section reads well.
I copyedited the section, see what you think
"to check" → "to make sure" or "to confirm"
Done
"Bellows and Hasselblad close-up lenses were used" → "close-up lenses by Bellows and Hasselblad were used"
Done
"Some scenes, including one at Saturn, was" → "Some scenes, including one at Saturn, were"
Done
Add "(fps)" after "frames per second" so the next use of the term fps makes sense.
Done
Add "the" before "three-dimensional effect".
Done
Remove the comma after Bernardo Segall.
Done
""the most professional and experienced symphonic"" – this sounds biased.
Tweaked.
"sprocketed, magnetic film" – what?
Clarified.
"expected audience" → "expected audiences"
Done
"Conoco helped fund the project "as a Bicentennial gift" to the NASM" (pre-production) ... "Conoco later became the film's sponsor" (post-production) – wait, what does this mean? Does "sponsor" mean they financed the film or that they promoted it?
It means that they financed the film. I removed the sentence as it's kinda obvious?
"combined with production" → "combined with the production"
I can't seem to find a place for this bit in reception. I think it's relevant analysis, as the nationalist, metanarrative theme is said to run throughout the movie, so it's interesting that one thinks it only shows in the space sequence; the citation is also a film analysis publication.
"a museum admission" – is this referring to the NASM museum?
The book doesn't explicitly mention NASM. I think this is great, as NASM isn't the only museum screening it.
"categorized a travelogue" → "categorized as a travelogue"
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.