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Reviewer: Skinny87 (talk ) 09:20, 10 October 2010 (UTC) [ reply ]
GA review (see here for criteria)It is reasonably well written .
a (prose) : b (MoS for lead , layout , word choice , fiction , and lists ) :
'She became guard ship on the Shannon when she recommissioned' - S would this be a second recommissioning, presumably after being de-commissioned for the '72-'74 refit?
Does that need to be specified?
Probably wouldn't hurt to clarify.
How does it read now?
'Both breech-loading guns were new designs from Armstrong and much was hoped for them' - Not entirely sure of this, but 'from them' or 'of them' sounds more grammatically correct to me.
Agreed
As you did for the Valiant, can we have a footnote on the usage of Armoured frigate/ironclad?
Done
It is factually accurate and verifiable .
a (references) : b (citations to reliable sources ) : c (OR ) :
Second paragraph of the first section on Design and Description is uncited.
Cited.
Do we know why she was re-rigged as a barque for a short period? Was this usual for ironclads?
I have no idea, probably to experiment with different rigs to see what worked best for such a large ship.
That's fine.
And any idea why the original armament was reduced?
When, 1867? The 7 and 8-inch muzzle-loaders were heavier than her original guns.
Adding that would be great.
Done.
When were the 110-pound guns taken off of the Defence?
When she refit in '67.
Why were the ends of the ship left entirely unprotected? This seems like a major design flaw after all.
Explained.
'Defence damaged her propeller and rudder when she was nearly blown ashore herself in March 1872.' - Was this due to heavy winds?
They actual struck the bottom in the trough of one wave, but I couldn't figure out how to explain that easily.
What you've said above makes sense, so I'd add that.
How does it read now?--Sturmvogel 66 (talk ) 15:54, 10 October 2010 (UTC) [ reply ]
It is broad in its coverage .
a (major aspects) : b (focused) :
It follows the neutral point of view policy .
Fair representation without bias :
It is stable .
No edit wars, etc. :
It is illustrated by images , where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales ) : b (appropriate use with suitable captions ) :
The HMS Defence (1868) picture is currently breaking the section breaks between Armament and Armour. Suggest moving to the right-hand side.
Agreed.
Overall :
Pass/Fail :
Interesting article. A few things to look at, and it can pass. Skinny87 (talk ) 09:20, 10 October 2010 (UTC) [ reply ]
Thanks for the review.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk ) 13:47, 10 October 2010 (UTC) [ reply ]
No problem, points added above. Skinny87 (talk ) 14:35, 10 October 2010 (UTC) [ reply ]
Looks good now, so I'll pass. Skinny87 (talk ) 16:02, 10 October 2010 (UTC) [ reply ]