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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 16:23, 4 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I should have this to you within a day or two JAGUAR  16:23, 4 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Initial comments

• The lead needs to be expanded slightly in order to summarise and comply per WP:LEAD. In comparison to Controversies surrounding Grand Theft Auto V, not enough is mentioned about the controversies in the game themselves. The only mention in the lead is the driving under the influence part?
• "the student wished to rob the taxi driver to obtain money to continue playing the game in an arcade" - which game? GTA IV?
• "In 2007, then Florida lawyer Jack Thompson" - according to his article, he is still a Florida-based lawyer?
• "his attempts to declare Rockstar's games as a public nuisance. Games declared to be a public nuisance are effectively banned for sale" - public nuisance is linked to an English law, is this relevant to the First Amendment?
• The Legal action section is looking short, is there more content to this? Half of the article was attributed to Jack Thompson's legal action!

References

• No dead links

On hold

This is a very well written article with few problems, in fact the only problems I could with were minor prose/organisational issues. If all of the above can be clarified, then this should have no trouble passing the GAR JAGUAR  15:15, 5 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review, Jaguar! I've gone through and fixed most of your concerns, though I'd like to address a couple:

• Even though he might still be based in Florida, Thompson is no longer a lawyer; he was disbarred in 2008. This is what the sentence is trying to say.
• I agree that the "Legal action" section is short, but I can't really find any more content to add to this. Perhaps it could be merged with the "Political response" section somehow?

If you have any further concerns, please don't hesitate to let me know. Thanks! -- Rhain1999 ^{(talk to me)} 01:04, 6 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Close - promoted

Thanks for addressing them! I think that's everything. The "Legal action" section should be fine, it could be merged into "Political response" if you want to send this to FAC, but for now it should be fine. Anyway, well done JAGUAR  09:39, 6 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]