GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Nominator: UndercoverClassicist (talk · contribs) 06:19, 5 May 2024 (UTC)
- @UndercoverClassicist Here are my comments, hopefully they can be acknowledged! :) Arconning (talk) 11:45, 13 May 2024 (UTC)
- Thanks for doing this -- all replies below. UndercoverClassicist T·C 13:12, 13 May 2024 (UTC)
- @UndercoverClassicist Thank you for the new info! Congrats on the new GA! Arconning (talk) 00:58, 14 May 2024 (UTC)
- Thanks for doing this -- all replies below. UndercoverClassicist T·C 13:12, 13 May 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Arconning (talk · contribs) 14:11, 10 May 2024 (UTC)
- I will be reviewing this article, comments will probably be finished in the next 72 hours! Good luck to the editors! Arconning (talk · contribs)
Prose and MoS
[edit]Lead
[edit]- was a British sport shooter who competed in the 1908 Summer Olympics and 1912 Summer Olympics., In the 1908 Olympics, Fulton won..., change in to at as it's an event.
- 1996 – over twenty years after his death., change dash to comma.
- There's a hierarchy here: the pause after 1996 is more consequential and, when read aloud, longer than that before a record. Per MOS:DASH, the endash is correct. UndercoverClassicist T·C 13:12, 13 May 2024 (UTC)
- Four years later, add comma at end.
- Yes, we've done this in the preceding sentence, so consistency is good -- changed. UndercoverClassicist T·C 13:12, 13 May 2024 (UTC)
- Hyperlink First World War with World War I.
- For most of his life, he worked in the armourer's shop established by his father, , change the before armourer's to an, unless there's a difference in British English grammar for this.
- At least in BrE, "the" is correct, as his father established exactly one. UndercoverClassicist T·C 13:12, 13 May 2024 (UTC)
- Remove source number 1 in lead as it's already sourced in the body.
- Per MOS:LEADCITE, quotations should always be cited, even in the lead. The MoS allows citations to be dropped from the lead in certain circumstances (if not this one), but never requires it. UndercoverClassicist T·C 13:12, 13 May 2024 (UTC)
- 1908 Olympics, Four years later, hyperlink to corresponding Olympic Games.
Early life
[edit]- Rename to Early life and Olympic Games.
- I don't think that would accurately reflect the prominence of the Olympics in the section, or indeed Fulton's life overall: he's far better known for his non-Olympic shooting. There's also clarity of structure through "Early life" -> "First World War" -> "Later life" that would be broken by extending the header. UndercoverClassicist T·C 13:12, 13 May 2024 (UTC)
- the wood-engraver and noted marksman, remove the unless part of British English grammar.
- At least in BrE, the "the" is correct. UndercoverClassicist T·C 13:12, 13 May 2024 (UTC)
- Arthur began to work for him at the same time,, remove comma.
- 1908 London Olympics, team military rifle event, hyperlink to corresponding events.
- In the 1908 London Olympics, Arthur won a silver medal in the team military rifle event. Four years later, in Stockholm, he won the silver medal in the team military rifle event,, reword to At the 1908 London Olympics, Arthur won a silver medal in the team military rifle event. Four years later at the 1912 Summer Olympics, held in Stockholm, he won the silver medal in the team military rifle event. See each hyperlink in sentence and replace on original article.
- Hyperlinks added, and "in" changed to "that".
- and 9th in the, change to ninth.
First World War
[edit]- No issues. Pass.
Later life
[edit]- Scandinavia and North America., add comma after Scandinavia and hyperlink alongside Africa and North America.
- Lack of comma is grammatical (MOS:SERIAL), and linking continents would be WP:OVERLINKing. UndercoverClassicist T·C 13:12, 13 May 2024 (UTC)
- During the Second World War,, hyperlink Second World War.
- Arthur Fulton was appointed..., replace with Fulton was then appointed....
- The first name is needed here, as the subject of the previous sentence was another Fulton (Robin). UndercoverClassicist T·C 13:12, 13 May 2024 (UTC)
Refs
[edit]- No issues with references. Pass.
Spotchecks
[edit]- Manual and earwig show up nothing. Pass.
Images
[edit]- Images have proper licenses and are appropriate to the topic.
- Hyperlink meaning of chaired in second image.
Misc.
[edit]- No ongoing edit war, focus and very broad on the topic!
- Add [1] to External links, as well as reword Profile at DatabaseOlympics.com to Arthur Fulton at DatabaseOlympics.com. Do same with given link.
Good Article review progress box
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