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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 01:33, 5 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

This looks solid. ♦ jaguar 01:33, 5 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

• " such as destroying a fleet of enemies" - I feel that such as destroying squadrons of enemies works better
  • Fixed. You're right, it does look better.
• "base for the game's ideas and mechanics" - link game mechanics
  • Done.

Gameplay

• The screenshot caption could benefit from a little more detail - what are the clockwise elements of the HUD?
  • Specified what the HUD elements are.

Development

• "Drama shows and the game R4: Ridge Racer Type 4 (1998) served as inspiration for this idea" - by drama shows, do you mean television programmes?
  • Yes, that's what I meant. I linked Drama (film and television) in that sentence.
• "This led to the game's futuristic, science fiction setting and world" - the comma isn't necessary
  • Tossed.
• "the team's limited skills made them skeptical if their vision and world could properly be implemented" - this would flow better as the team's limited skills made them skeptical of their vision and world being implemented
  • Rewrote.

Release

• "The company broke the silence in November, opening up an website" - a website
  • That was a typo. Fixed.
• "Only a single level and a select few aircraft were shown" - repetition of 'show' in previous sentence; revealed may be better
  • Replaced with "revealed".

Reception

• I noticed that the names of reviewers aren't mentioned in the text. This won't by any means hold a GAN back but the prose will markedly improve if reviewers' comments were linked back to their names rather than publications - something to consider if you take this to FAC
  • I often flip-flop between using reviewer names or just the names of the publications since I don't have a solid opinion or preference on it. I've decided to mention their names in the review as I'm thinking of taking this to FAC sometime soon.
• "It holds a 74% on the video game review aggregator" - missing word
  • Another typo. Fixed.
• "Official Czech PlayStation Magazine had a similar response" - missing 'the' before Official
  • Added.
• "Official UK PlayStation Magazine said that it felt" - missing definite article here too. The publication is also missing a link
  • Added both of those.

This article has improved a lot since its last review. It is well-written, comprehensive and the sources all check out. I've left a few comments regarding the prose for you to consider. Once the above are out of the way this will be good to go. ♦ jaguar 17:33, 6 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• Jaguar Addressed all concerns. Thank you for your comments. Namcokid47 ^(Contribs) 21:45, 6 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

• Looks good now. Time to promote ♦ jaguar 22:57, 6 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]