- The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Article promoted by MisterBee1966 (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 17:06, 8 February 2016 (UTC)
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- Nominator(s): AustralianRupert (talk)
2/48th Battalion (Australia) (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)
The 2/48th Battalion was a 2nd AIF infantry battalion that was primarily recruited from South Australian volunteers. Fighting in the Middle East where it saw action at Tobruk and El Alamein, the 2/48th was part of the 9th Division and is considered to be Australia's most highly decorated unit of the war, with four members receiving the Victoria Cross for their actions during the war. I took this article to GA about five years ago, and having recently obtained a copy of the battalion history (temporarily through an inter library loan) I would like to improve it through the ACR process. Thank you to everyone who stops by. Cheers, AustralianRupert (talk) 08:55, 19 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Comments Great work taking this key topic on and developing the article to a high standard. I have the following comments:
- "the battalion was formed around a nucleus of four rifle companies—designated 'A' through to 'D'" - is it possible to say when the support company was added?
- The sentence starting with "Upon arrival in the Middle East" is a bit lengthy
- "Shortly after this, the Germans landed forces in Africa to reinforce the Italians and the British forces in Libya were forced " - the Commonwealth (not just British) forces needed to retreat because the Germans went on the offensive, not that they landed
- The half para starting with "The 26th Brigade was moved south" is a little bit unclear - swapping the order of the two sentences might help
- "The 2/48th commenced their attack" - following on from the above, a bit more context would be helpful: I presume this was a counter-attack on Rommel's forces?
- Can anything be said about how (and when) the battalion was rebuilt after El Alamein?
- "after which parades were held in every capital city" - did the 2/48th parade through Adelaide?
- "after which he was commissioned and returned to the battalion as a lieutenant" perhaps note that this was highly unusual?
- "the 2/48th was in the vanguard of the attack, leading the brigade in at 07:15 hours" - while I'm not sure of the exact timing, the 2/48th and 2/23rd Battalions landed alongside each other, so the 2/48th wasn't really the "vanguard"
- "Throughout May and into June as the Australians pressed towards the island's airfield" - the airfield (and other low ground on the west coast) was captured within a few days of the landing: the main challenge was capturing the interior of the island
- "mountain ranges" - while the terrain was very difficult, the island's interior is usually described as being hills
- "the drive on Fukukaku" - perhaps tweak this to note that that Fukukaku was the main Japanese position Nick-D (talk) 10:53, 21 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Support My comments have now been addressed: nice work with this article 10:08, 22 January 2016 (UTC)
Comments: As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. I've copyedited down to Actions in North Africa and skimmed the rest, and I don't think prose issues will be a problem at WP:FAC, if you want to take it there after you're done here. - Dank (push to talk) 20:42, 25 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Support
Comments - this article is looking very good, a few minor (mostly prose) points though:
- All tool checks ok (all images have alt text, no dabs, external links check out, earwig tool reveals no issues with close paraphrase etc [2]) (no action req'd)
- All images appear to be PD and have the req'd licences (no action req'd).
- Captions look fine (no action req'd).
- "A unit of the all-volunteer Second Australian Imperial Force" - perhaps introduce the abbrev "2nd AIF" here (which you use in a note).
- Repetitive prose here "The following month, the battalion marched through the city of Adelaide prior to its deployment overseas, and the following month..." ("following month" x s)
- Some minor inconsistency in the presentation of ranks using hyphens (for instance you use "Lieutenant-General" and " Lieutenant General" and "Lieutenant-Colonel" vs "Lieutenant Colonel")
- Wikilink Oakbank, Dimra, Mersa Matruh, Fuka (see Fukah), Trinity Beach, Henry T. Allen (see USS Henry T. Allen (APA-15)), Jivevaneng (which you have misspelled I think as "Jivevenang", Kalinga (see Kalinga, Queensland or Wooloowin), HMS Empire Spearhead,
- Wording here seems a bit awkward: "The defence system at Tobruk..." perhaps instead consider "The defencive system at Tobruk..."
- "... pushed five miles south..." perhaps use the convert template here?
- "In late June 1942, Axis forces commanded by Erwin Rommel..." perhaps add Rommel's rank.
- "As the Allies went on the advance, the battalion was withdrawn from the front and moved back to Tel el Eisa...", perhaps simplify to "As the Allies went on the advance, the battalion was moved back to Tel el Eisa..." (you've already mentioned it was withdrawn so doing so again seems a little repetitive to me)
- "...had finally agreed to provide the necessary shipping to make this a reality..." consider something like "...had finally agreed to provide the necessary shipping for this to occur."
- "The convoy carrying the battalion put into Fremantle in mid-February..." - this has already been mentioned in the final sentence of the last para so seems redundant. Perhaps lose the first instance?
- "...as the Japanese launched a counteroffensive on the Australian lodgement..." consider instead: "...as the Japanese launched a counteroffensive against the Australian lodgement..."
- Is there a missing word here: "being withdrawn back to Finschhafen, campaign..."
- Move the wikilink for Manoora to here: "the battalion embarked upon the HMAS Manoora..." (you link it later on)
- Wording is a little repetitive here: "Their next major engagement came in late May when the 2/48th was engaged..." ("engagement" and "engaged"). Perhaps reword one? Anotherclown (talk) 04:04, 26 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Support Comments: another great bit of work AR, just minor quibbles:
- linking of countries inconsistent, e.g. Greece is linked, Libya, Syria, New Guinea aren't.
- Actions of North Africa: the final sentence of the 1st para uses the word "first" twice, perhaps use "initial action" to remove one of them?
- For sake of consistency in treatment of major place names (countries aside as mentioned above), link Alexandria, Palestine, Queensland (note there is a link to Ravenshoe, Queensland later in the article, you may want to amend this)
- "...while on the left they..."; they being the right forward company previously mentioned?
- "...bridge over the Sibengkok and..." Missing word: River?
And that's me done. Cheers. Zawed (talk) 22:04, 7 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- All good, have added my support. Cheers. Zawed (talk) 10:55, 8 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.