- The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Article promoted by Peacemaker67 (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 00:06, 1 February 2016 (UTC)
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- Nominator(s): AustralianRupert (talk)
2/17th Battalion (Australia) (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)
Another 2nd AIF infantry battalion, this one was raised in New South Wales in mid-1940 and served as part of the "Magnificent 9th Division" seeing action in Tobruk, at El Alamein, in New Guinea and Borneo. This one was taken through GAN over the Christmas break and I would like to improve it further through the A-class Review process. Thank you to everyone who stops by. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 07:45, 8 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
CommentsSupport
- I reviewed recently for GA so I think this is of a pretty high standard already. I've a few brief points for now but should get time to go through this more thoroughly tomorrow:
- The image details for File:HMS LST-9 AWM.jpg are a bit lacking. It currently says its from Navsource however its clearly an AWM image (see original here [1]). I suggest treating per similar AWM images re sourcing tags etc - also it will need a PD US tag.
- The name of the camp in Palestine the bn used in 1940 and the locations it garrisoned in Syria and Lebanon could probably be added from the Bn history (I'll have a look in a bit myself for this).
- A bit more specific information on the bn's involvement in the fighting at El Alamein is probably req'd (again I'll check the bn history myself for this). Anotherclown (talk) 08:55, 8 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks for taking a look. Enjoy the cricket tonight, should be a good one, I think. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 09:06, 8 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- No worries. What you added re second Alamein now looks sufficient to me. I also added a bit covering the period b/n first and second Alamein and tweaked the Bn strength to be that on the eve of the second battle per the Bn history. Pls feel free to review my additions and change as req'd if I muffed anything. I need to do a bit of study now so I'll have to leave the rest until tomorrow. Anotherclown (talk) 10:23, 8 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks, mate, hope the study goes well. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 11:04, 8 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Back now, the rest of my review is as follows:
- All tool checks seem fine (alt text, no dabs, no unnecessary duplicate links, no dead external links, earwig tool detects no issues with close paraphrase [2])
- Perhaps include the battalion motto (i.e. “what we have we hold”) and colours (i.e. white on green) in the infobox (per similar articles).
- Probably include H.D. Wells book B Company, Second Seventeenth Infantry in a "further reading" section (WorldCat details here [3])
- Also there is a fairly good website for the bn here [4] which seems to be fairly well referenced – perhaps included in an "external links" section?
- Perhaps add a hatnote to 2nd/17th Battalion, Royal New South Wales Regiment given the very similar name some readers my be confused?
- "...these were supported by a battalion headquarters and a headquarters company with six specialist platoons." I wonder if adding the roles of the specialist platoons here would be instructive? (suggestion only)
- Prose here probably could be tightened: "The 9th Division was then subsequently withdrawn back to Gaza", consider instead something like "The 9th Division was subsequently withdrawn back to Gaza..."
- Wikilink David C. Shanks (see USNS David C. Shanks (T-AP-180))
- Wikilink Brooketon, Townsville, Jivevaneng
- There is a typo in the battle honours section – you write "Jivevaneng–Kumawa" which is of course the correct spelling of "Jivevaneng"; however, I believe the official battle honour was actually misspelt by the Australian Army in 1961 when it was awarded as "Jivenaneng" (a good ref for this is the Bn history p. iii, also Rodger Battle Honours of the British Empire and Commonwealth Land Forces p. 361)
- A memorial to the 2/17th Battalion was built at Jivevaneng in 1997, this could probably be included in the text (perhaps at the end of the "disbandment" section? (ref is Bn history pp. 273-274, 366)
- Otherwise this looks good to me. Anotherclown (talk) 23:17, 8 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Comments This article is in very good shape, and I only have nit-picking comments:
- "In March 1941 the battalions of the 9th Division were sent into the desert to relieve the 6th Division units" - maybe just say that this was part of the 9th reliving the 6th? (especially as all the elements of the 6th, including its HQ, went to Greece)
- "the New Zealanders" perhaps "elements of the 2nd New Zealand Division" or similar?
- "as the Australian Army's combat divisions were refocused on the Pacific theatre to fight the Japanese. " - you could say instead that this was the final stage in the withdrawal of the AIF from the Middle East Nick-D (talk) 10:26, 8 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- "On Morotai, the 2/17th concentrated along with the 7th and 9th Divisions" - I might be wrong, but I think that the 7th arrived at Morotai after the 9th departed (or at least as it was leaving)
- Did the battalion conduct any occupation duties after the war? (Long 1963 or Johnston 2002 might cover this?). From memory, October/November 1945 was when British/Indian units relieved the 9th from occupation duties in this area. Nick-D (talk) 10:26, 8 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Support My comments have now been addressed Nick-D (talk) 23:59, 8 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Comments: As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. I've copyedited down to Middle East and skimmed the rest, and I don't think prose issues will be a problem at WP:FAC, if you want to take it there after you're done here. At FAC, I'll be happy to support on prose and copyedit the rest, although I may wait until you get one or two supports first. - Dank (push to talk) 23:36, 11 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks, Dan. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 09:15, 12 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Comments Support- Unsurprisingly, the article is in excellent order. Just a few nitpicking comments:
- In the lead, I think the text for the wikilink for the siege of Tobruk should be extended to include the preceding words "fighting at". I clicked on the link expecting to be taken to the link for the town.
- Middle East section: link Western Desert, Alexandria.
- Linking of countries is inconsistent, e.g. Egypt and Libya aren't linked, but Syria and Greece are.
- Pacific section: Maybe link the Operation Postern to the appropriate section of the Salamaua–Lae campaign page. Or would that constitute a dupe link?
- Suggest expanding the text to the Borneo campaign wikilink to include the "recapture"; I expected the link to go to the place, not the campaign, so including recapture would be (to my mind) more logical.
- Fixed one punctuation mistake myself, so otherwise this looks to be in good shape - I really had to struggle to find the above points. Cheers. Zawed (talk) 07:55, 30 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Looks good AR, added my support now. Cheers. Zawed (talk) 08:28, 30 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Just for clarity, I've checked the image licensing, all looks good to me. Passing. Cheers, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 11:41, 31 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Hawkeye7, the bot doesn't seem to have run on this. Is it only running once a day at the moment? Cheers, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 21:01, 31 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.