- The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.
The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 23:35, 30 December 2015 [3].
- Nominator(s): Esquivalience t 15:19, 13 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Agar.io (currently a GA) is currently one of the most popular browser/mobile games. Despite its simplicity, it has managed to garner over 10 million downloads on the first week of release of the mobile version, and the browser version is one of the 1,000 most visited websites (according to Alexa Internet).
This article is very short for a featured article candidacy; however there is not too much information to cover because of its developmental and gameplay simplicity. Nonetheless, I have squeezed every last piece of useful information from 21 reliable sources, and I believe it meets the featured article criteria after some small improvements. Esquivalience t 15:19, 13 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Comments
- The Agar.io game suffers severe "lag" issues.
- The lead may need a paragraph about its reception.
- A source needs to be added on platforms it can be played on. Do we know if it be played on Linux? I don't know if that is important, but I'm new to reviewing articles.
JerrySa1 (talk) 00:05, 14 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Comments from Epicgenius
- I was casually reading this article as a joke when I noticed, with seriousness, that the sentence "Valadares continued updating and adding new features to the game, such as an experience system and an "experimental" gamemode for testing experimental features" was sourced only to an explanation note. Is there a reliable source for this?
- In addition, this game also has "skins" that are unlocked for users that connect with Google/Facebook and have a certain XP. (Maybe this is not reliably sourced, but I saw it. If it's not reliably sourced, it doesn't need to be added.)
- You may want to move citations from the lead to the body per WP:CITELEAD.
Overall, I cannot find any other problems with the article. But if I can make it to the top of the leaderboard, it'd be nice. ;) In the meantime, if there is any other stuff that needs to be fixed, I will let you know. epicgenius (talk) 01:14, 18 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Oppose from JM
Please don't hate me for saying this, but my gut instinct is that we should not be promoting short articles on such recent topics (the game was released less than 8 months ago!) to FA status. It is not yet clear what kind of lasting significance that this game will have, and this surely belongs as part of the article. Maybe in a couple of years, when the game is more established, and we're clear on whether it has won awards or featured in "best game"-type lists, and the developer has gone on to other things and all the rest- but, for now, I think it is better left as a GA.
Even if I ignore this instinct, I do not think that the article is of the quality expected for FAs. Here are some more specific comments:
- The lead seems to contain material that is not found elsewhere in the article. This is to be avoided. Also, given the length of the article, the lead seems too long.
- Was it actually released on Steam? Does that belong in the infobox?
- "Agar.io was especially popular in Turkey during the campaigns of the June 2015 Turkish elections." Do you have a source for this?
- There's no mention in the gameplay section of players being able to customise their cells; this seems to be important.
- The reception section feels very repetitive. x of y said z; a of b said c. Also, be aware of the repetition of "it", and take note of MOS:LQ.
- "Published by Miniclip, the mobile versions" We know!
- Some of your cited sources are lacking key information. Generally, I would recommend offering translations of non-English titles (
trans_title=
works on the standard citation templates). Some specific examples:
- Irmak lacks an accessdate, as do some others.
- You're inconsistent on your italics of website names
- Your article in The Week was published Jul 20, 2015, your Kotaku source was published 5/26/15. Other sources lacking dates may actually have them on the page you're citing. (Relatedly, your date formatting is inconsistent.)
- Your "Summary of changes" source seems to lack any kind of formatting
- Are you certain of the reliability of all of these websites? Ezines and "entertainment websites" are probably OK at GAC, but FAC has a higher standard for these kinds of things.
- Your non-free use rationale for the screenshot is incomplete. Is it really necessary?
- Some searching is suggesting that "Agar.io" was a top search term this year; a story released this week. This has led to a few mentions in decent sources, and may be worth discussing in its own right. It's also illustrative of my "nominated too soon" point.
- Similarily, I see it appearing on a few year-end lists... This and this and this, for example.
- Another quick review which is maybe worth citing: here.
I think this article belongs as a GA at this time; until the topic is a little older (and, preferably, there's a bit more coverage from reliable sources) I don't think it's ready for FA status. Josh Milburn (talk) 23:32, 19 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
- The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.
The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 23:47, 30 December 2015 [6].
- Nominator(s): KAVEBEAR (talk) 17:04, 26 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
This article is about a Hawaiian-American Union Army soldier who is considered one of the "Hawaiʻi Sons of the Civil War"; he was among a group of more than one hundred documented Hawaiian and Hawaii-born combatants who fought in the American Civil War while the Kingdom of Hawaii was still an independent nation. In recent years, he has become one of the many central figures of interest in a revival of interest of this period of Hawaiian history. This article was nominated as a good article and has been peer reviewed. Basically, everything known in the sources directly about this individual is already in the article itself, so there are some questions that I won't be able to answer because no known knowledge exist about it. KAVEBEAR (talk) 17:04, 26 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Image review
- Since the US does not have freedom of panorama for sculpture, you'll need to explicitly account for the licensing status of the works pictured in File:Pitman_family_marker,_Mount_Auburn_Cemetery_(4402353191).jpg, File:Henry_Pitman_Grave_1.jpg, and File:Honolulu-memorial-Hawaiisonsofthecivilwar.JPG. Nikkimaria (talk) 14:54, 27 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- What exactly do you mean "explicitly account for the licensing status of the works"? I have no knowledge of anything related to the monument beyond what it says and that it is in Mount Auburn Cemetery. It might be easier to remove it because there no further knowledge I can provide about its licensing status.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 18:04, 27 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
-
- The creators and dates of creation are not known. I don't think information such as creators/dates of creation are known for most personal markers like these. In light of this, should they all be removed from the article? --KAVEBEAR (talk) 19:38, 27 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Not necessarily. For most gravestones we actually do know the date of creation - in most cases they were created around the time of the subject's death. Is that true here, as far as we know? If so, the gravestone would be PD due to age (pre-1923 display in the US). The Civil War memorial may be more of an issue, depending on what we know about it. Nikkimaria (talk) 20:07, 27 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- My guess is the family marker dates to 1951 or after (after Christiana S. Pitman's death). I have no knowledge of the gravestone with the shield, although I am guessing that it may be a later addition, a posthumously petitioned gravestone in the 20th century since it has the shield emblem on it. The plaque was created around 2010 but the creator is not known to me.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 21:00, 27 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Okay...is there any possibility of finding out more information? Something 20th-century could still be PD, and the plaque could also be PD if it were a federal government work, but without details it's hard to know. Nikkimaria (talk) 22:04, 27 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- No, I don't think there is anyway to find any more information besides the stuff I already presented, so I was thinking of just removing the problematic images to save all the trouble. The plaque to my knowledge was sponsored by Oahu Cemetery Association and Hawaii Civil War Round Table, a Civil War interest group in Hawaii, and they paid someone or a company to make the plaque for around $3500. The copyright would probably be in the hand of the unnamed/unknown maker or unnamed/unknown plaque company, so it isn't a federal government work. --KAVEBEAR (talk) 23:04, 27 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- @Nikkimaria: I've changed it to an image of the mausoleum instead which is as a building is exempt under 17 USC 120(a).
- Okay, looks good on images now. Nikkimaria (talk) 03:32, 11 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Question on the main image. Why is the link to the source...not actually showing the full image that is being used on Wikipedia?--Mark Miller (talk) 04:01, 11 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- The source link supports that the portrait is held by the museum. It would be nice to link to the full portrait on the museum website, if it includes a digital gallery, but not all museums provide that - haven't checked if this one does. Nikkimaria (talk) 13:28, 11 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- It seems odd to have a link in this manner, simply demonstrating the museum when the other works from the museum do not have such a link and there is actually a proper template for that. Links in the summary for "source" should be the actual source the digital image was taken. If the author of the image itself was the uploader it should indicate that. If it came from a digital repository, it should indicate that. Source is not the museum, it is where the digital version comes from unless they are the same (such as the Museum's digital library). This makes verification very difficult if not impossible. All of the images appear to be in the public domain, but the images themselves do not appear to have any explanation to the actual source of the image itself. I have many images of works from Crocker Art Museum here in Sacramento, that makes the source for the image the uploader or "own work" not the museum. But if the digital image is taken from, let us say Flickr" then the source will show the link to the page on Flickr the image was uploaded from. This is a part of the FA criteria for image use policy. I believe this needs to be cleared on all the images so we know the actual source.--Mark Miller (talk) 20:09, 11 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- I agree that using the "proper template" would be nice, though it's not a requirement. But I can't agree that "own work" would be an appropriate notation. Wikipedia policy is that faithful reproductions of 2D works do not warrant their own copyright. The original source of this image is a portrait held by the Peabody Museum - whether the uploader went there to snap a picture or just downloaded an image from Flickr. Nikkimaria (talk) 01:15, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- The "proper template' is just the institution template. It isn't required in anyway, but will likely be added by another editor or myself at Commons for convenience. The requirement here is the source of the digital image which is "essential information". It is required for uploading to know the original publication date of the image...not the painting. The source is required as to where the image came from, whether that is "own work" (as is indicated by guidelines) or from an online source. The source is the person, group or entity that scanned, digitized or photographed the image.--Mark Miller (talk) 02:07, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "Own Work" is indeed the source if...and only if the uploader actually took the photo. We already know that an image that is under the license of "public domain" can be used in the US without a "sweat of the brow" law, however, attribution must never be substituted. The source is proper attribution to the person, group or entity that created the digital work. "Own work" is used if the image was photographed or scanned by an user. It does not indicate authorship. That remains with the original author, but Wikipedia insists that image files have proper ways to verify date of publication and source...as to how we (Wikipedia) have acquired the digital image.--Mark Miller (talk) 02:31, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- I don't agree, though perhaps it's a matter of terminology. If I take a photo of a photo, that doesn't make the resulting photo my own work, under either US law (which for a US photo of a US painting for a US website is all that matters) or Wikipedia policy - I just reproduced it. By the same token, if I directly upload a photo taken by someone else, I've still reproduced it, and it's still not my work. And no, we don't need to know the publication date of the image, since the creation of the image doesn't generate a new copyright. It's the date of the original painting that matters. If you want to add a template or more details that's great, but it seems very silly to nominate for deletion a painting that you agree is in the public domain. Nikkimaria (talk) 03:37, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- I do believe part of this is terminology. "Own Work" is only the source and is mentioned in the guidelines as to who the originating image comes from. Yes...I took this image:
- and am the "Source/photographer". I must attribute myself for the digital image. But this is NOT the case here. The image was provided in a manner that, for some reason, seems to be outside the norm and is not being attributed to a proper source yet. Hopefully it will. It isn't that hard and I don't see there being any reason for the information to be held back.--Mark Miller (talk) 03:59, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Support on prose per standard disclaimer. These are my edits. That was easy, and an enjoyable read. - Dank (push to talk) 01:20, 30 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Comment by Mark Miller - On my initial review of the article the first note concerns me. All notes must be referenced and supported by an inline citation however, the note starts off with a comment that cannot be supported by any reference and is only the editor's original research and comment on the sources itself. I will read further but that gives me pause off the bat.--Mark Miller (talk) 04:12, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Further review of the first claim appears to also be original research and based off the editor's own analysis [edit for clarification] of the
image of the marker [primary sources] and does not come from any source itself. When I went to the single secondary source used for the claim, it is merely a listing of the name rank etc. and makes none of the claims being made. Primary sources should only be used for the content that can be specifically seen to be in the source and nothing else, such as the following line: In the 1860 United States Census, his name is recorded as "Henry Pitman".[7]. Straightforward and only contains the attribution and the exact content with no additional comment or analysis.--Mark Miller (talk) 04:18, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- The sentence before does the same. There is no additional comment or synthesis of the primary source. The inscription on gravestone itself is a primary source not my observations, and as I discussed with other user is a reliable alternative to using Find a Grave. The two sources to the enlistment records are the same and contains the the exact spelling in the records with no additional comment or analysis.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 04:26, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
A primary source may only be used on Wikipedia to make straightforward, descriptive statements of facts that can be verified by any educated person with access to the primary source but without further, specialized knowledge.
- I am aware of the guideline. Thank you. But again, the opening sentence is not supported by the primary source references and has no secondary source. It is your analysis of the primary sources and is a misuse of primary sources to pile them on without a secondary source for the claim. And we have been through this as well as the above issue of "Freedom of panorama" using graves stones that cannot be dated. Only the specific descriptive statements of facts that can be verified by any educated person with access to the primary source. I do not find directional description an issue. My bad. I corrected that.--Mark Miller (talk) 04:53, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Specifically, you need to lose the "His name is given in various ways in the sources" portion of the note.--Mark Miller (talk) 04:55, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Wording is an issue. The way you have "In Hawaii..." is analysis. But just saying "Hawaiian publications.." is not, just specific to the content.--Mark Miller (talk) 04:56, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- In Hawaii is citing the publication place of the primary source, which can be found in the publication information at the front of these books or in the front pages of newspapers. I disagree that saying sources disagree is synthesis or original research, a point which I like to hear other users' opinion on. But anyway, the disagreement of spelling and age can be sourced to Vance's and Manning's biography of Pitman in the NPS book. --KAVEBEAR (talk) 05:21, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "In Hawaii" is analysis of the primary source and constitutes original research by telling the reader that only a specific location regards the subject in this manner. The primary sources do not state that. But if you feel an argument is required as a comeback to all who disagree (as does seem to be the indication so far) I will stop further discussion and review the article as a whole and leave a single post with all of the concerns that I feel hold this article back from Feature status. If you truly want this article to make FA status, try to heed some of the reviews as right now I am strictly for ...
- Decline for FA status - Initial review finds too much original research and abuse of primary sources. I will review the entire article for specific issues but for now, I feel the article is lacking in enough ways to not support.--Mark Miller (talk) 05:32, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Thank you for you assessment. I don't agree but that isn't odd.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 05:36, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- What is odd is your understanding of Wikipedia guidelines and policy (especially in regards to images, primary sources and use of secondary sourcing....and that is vital), which is why I was surprised to see you nominate an article. Hold your thanks until I actually give a full review. Since you seem firm on not making any changes suggested and seem to argue and question all posts, I am not sure you are even ready to nominate an article to FA yet.--Mark Miller (talk) 05:58, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- I don't think your suggestions are in anyway legitimate which is why I won't make the changes I see as unnecessary. I am not sure you are event qualified to make legitimate reviews based on the qualities of articles you have written or heavily edited, although if the points are legitimate I will make the change. --KAVEBEAR (talk) 06:04, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Then you fail the most important part of FAC. Respect the opinion of the reviewing editors. All you want to do is argue your opinion or your OR. Fine, then write a blog or create your own Wiki. I at least have one FA article. Whether or not you see that as qualifications for review only goes to demonstrate the manner in which you try to discredit both sources and editors outside policy and guidelines. Frankly, your scores of articles based on your original research disturbs me greatly, as it should all editors that review your articles for fact based content but you continue to improve and, as I have stated before, you are still a net plus for Wikipedia in general....but maybe not for FA at this point.--Mark Miller (talk) 06:20, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
The article has a few issues that do not appear to have been addressed during the October GA review. This might have something to do with the lack of discussion with the original FA nomination. Before the article can listed as FA, it first must meet all the standards and criteria that were not address in the last review and the criteria for Featured Article status.--Mark Miller (talk) 22:05, 11 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Instead editing the article, please suggested the changes below like all the reviewers have done. I saw problems with your changes.
- 1. The Pitman house image has potential copyright issues as addressed before by Nikkimaria. It was printed in a 1931 book by Almira Pitman but is undated so can potentially still have copyright problems if made after 1923. The Pitman had their third son in Hilo; his brother's gravestone at Mount Auburn, and Pitman's stepmother died in Hilo as well, and primary sources discussed in Merry's book state Pitman didn't sell his Hilo house to Spencer until he left for Boston.
- 2. There is no rationale for using Hawaiian language term titles with Ke Aliʻi (The Noble). This is clearly your mode of translating the title across Wikipedia in articles you've edit which no historians or other wiki editors even have adopted at all; the sources I used for this article that speaks about Pitman's life use the term high chiefess or high chief to refer to his Hawaiian ancestors so it should reflect what the sources say. Included among these is "After fifty years: an appreciation, and a record of a unique incident" written by Henry's sister-in-law and the recent publications by Manning and Vance, Hawaiian historians in this period of history. --KAVEBEAR (talk) 02:36, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Please be accurate with accusations, especially when discussing what other reviewers have done. I have reverted some of your edits as the talk page makes it clear you are not supported by the deprecated use of "chief" and "High Chief", which is not the proper titles of Hawaiian nobility. Translations by missionaries almost two hundred years ago have since been updated. Basically you are calling the subject an Indian. That is not appropriate.--Mark Miller (talk) 03:06, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "Translations by missionaries almost two hundred years ago" & "Basically you are calling the subject an Indian" - by whom? You are establishing a link between the word chief and Indian which is racist and sourceless to say the least. You are claiming the missionary translation has been updated, yet you do not demonstrate the sources to back thisot up. The scholarship in the Hawaiian community still commonly uses the English translation "chief" or "chiefess" to translate the term Ali'i; show me one person/scholar/source who translates it as "the noble" word for word. The talk page discussion was regarding the English spelling "chiefess" which is not found in certain dictionaries not the Hawaiian translation. --KAVEBEAR (talk) 03:33, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "You are establishing a link between the word chief and Indian which is racist and sourceless to say the least." Excuse me...but did you accuse me of racism through my text because you don't understand the Hawaiian term "ali'i" translates as "Noble". I don't need a source to use the term that has been established as accurate for nearly as long as the mistranslation to "chief" because of the misunderstanding of what an "Indian" is to missionaries of two hundred years ago. And yes...it is a term that can be referenced. Ke Ali'i is a formal term of position or title. The word "Ke" is used instead of "Ka" in formal titles. Hawaii didn't have a "king" until David Kalakaua because he was the first to use the only Hawaiian (Mauai) term for King...Moi. So, if you are trying to create an FA article, yes, I actually object to the term "Chief" and 'Chiefess" as inaccurate and one other editor on the talk page agrees. You should probably strike that out. it certainly "irritates" me and seems to be a personel attack.--Mark Miller (talk) 05:01, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Your making a controversial claim of mistranslation and connotations which have no sources. Your claiming chief and chiefess are mistranslations and confused/link Hawaiians to American Indians without any sources. Please, provide sources that this (mistranslation and connotation) is the majority scholarly consensus in Hawaiian historiography and that there is any rationale (in the majority scholarship and historiography) to reject chief/chiefess and use Ke Alii (The Noble) instead because of your expressed reasons. Also find me a list of scholarly sources that translates Ke Ali'i as "The Noble" (word for word) and also simultaneously rejects the translation chief/chiefess as well because of connotation with American Indians. You are making claims and interpretations ("Hawaii didn't have a "king" until David Kalakaua because he was the first to use the only Hawaiian (Mauai) term for King...Moi") without sources; this last point about Kalakaua is also irrelevant here so I won't discuss it. Wikipedia should reflect what the academic sources state and has no room for opinions or interpretations.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 05:13, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- No. I don't have to do any of that. If you feel there has been racism than you need to contact an administrator or file a complaint at ANI. I am not making a controversial claim. This is a talk page. I made no such claim in the article and if I should ever need to do such...yeah, it can be sourced but this is a very simple matter. You used the term chief and high chiefess and someone else reverted you and I said that the best route was to use the proper term: Ali'i wahine, that the other editor already mentioned. You are making a mountain out of a mole hill here. You simply have two editors that disagreed with you some time ago but never made any attempt to change the content. I did based on that discussion and the public thank you I received when I weighed in on the discussion.--Mark Miller (talk) 05:37, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- No. I just thought it was a bigoted comment to make. And I don't believe it can be sourced properly in the majority scholarship (although I am sure you would manage to find one or two fringe sources to use to support that). Then your only rationale for reverting me is just the concerns raised by User:Corinne. Yes, if that was the editor's viewpoint which I still am not sure of. The editor's concern high chief or chief but chiefess as an English word in the English dictionary and to explain it (which can be accomplished by a footnote). --KAVEBEAR (talk) 05:50, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Oh...so that's supposed to be better?--Mark Miller (talk) 06:11, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- If the Pitman House image is a copyright issue and you have hidden it instead of requesting deletion, that is an MOS issue because hidden messages are to be used sparingly and hiding a copyright issue is not that.--Mark Miller (talk) 03:08, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Just a note, I am in the middle of exams, currently right now, and will be out of the country doing a field course later, so I may be slow to respond unless the edits/comments irritate me enough to respond at the detriment of my semester's grade (which for the past few days has).--KAVEBEAR (talk) 03:47, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- I see. You'll only respond if irritated enough. That's very collaborative of you in an FA nomination that was archived due to lack of interest.--Mark Miller (talk) 04:19, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Sorry, to my knowledge, this is an active nomination not an archive. All FA nominations are titled "Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/TITLE/archive#"--KAVEBEAR (talk) 04:40, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- That was my lack of knowledge. Not yours. Seriously. I saw that and since I have the FA nom page watchlisted and didn't see this come up I just assumed (incorrectly) that the Nov 26 nom date made it an older nom. Nope. Still in the main nom section.--Mark Miller (talk) 04:48, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- I have to clarify. "Sorry" wasn't an apology it was an expression of surprise (Sorry, what?). --KAVEBEAR (talk) 04:52, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- You actually didn't need to clarify that... but it does say more than you might have been attempting to say.--Mark Miller (talk) 05:05, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Please, please do what the other reviewers have been doing and suggest edits instead of unilaterally changing the article. --KAVEBEAR (talk) 04:07, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- I do not understand the very question since Dank edited the article and reviewed the article for prose. At any rate, editors are welcome to edit the article.--Mark Miller (talk) 04:15, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Accusations against reviewing editor - Because the nominating editor has made accusations of racism and bigotry as well as being "distressingly threatened and harassed" by me, while attempting to address concerns on this page and the talk page of the article, I have been bullied off the review. I cannot do a full review of this article as it will only encourage further disruptive, uncivil behavior. I mean really...if you have to ask the FA coordinator "can I disrespect the opinion of a reviewing editor", it should probably have been a redflag that something was seriously wrong. Because that is exactly what I have endured for a couple of years now from this editor instead of collaboration. --Mark Miller (talk) 10:54, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Closing comment -- I'm sorry that I haven't had time to investigate the whys and wherefores of the dispute between nominator and reviewer above but in any case this has been open quite some time and is not approaching consensus to promote. KAVEBEAR, can I suggest you consider nominating for MilHist A-Class Review, which might be a useful preparation for a subsequent run at FAC. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 23:46, 30 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
- The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.
The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 05:25, 21 December 2015 [13].
- Nominator(s): —Vensatry (ping) 19:03, 27 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
This article is about an Indian actress who shot to fame with Slumdog Millionaire. I had to withdraw the candidate last time as there were reservations about prose. I went for another peer review and the article has really benefited from it. Thanks to Jaguar for copy-editing the article and the ones who took part in the PR. I believe the article now meets the FA crtieria. Look forward to constructive criticism and feedback. —Vensatry (ping) 19:03, 27 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Looks like a great article on a topic (Indian cinema/stars) that has huge popular appeal both in India and around the world. I would love to see it as a featured article. I'm also voting for it because having it on the main page would bring some much needed diversity to the page (which appears to be dominated by articles about white men and their sport and history!). Great work. MurielMary (talk) 09:55, 28 October 2015 (UTC)MurielMary[reply]
- And there is nothing wrong with many FA articles about white men getting featured on the main page. It isn't "domination" when it isn't exclusive to biographies, everything has its fair share. What matters more is the quality of the article, not race and gender. You will need a better reason. Burklemore1 (talk) 04:12, 1 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- The DOB inline citation should be provided on the first section. Ideally, the lead should be devoid of any citation as it merely summarizes the whole article.
- The article states that Pinto "works predominantly in American cinema". What is meant by work? Is this more on the number of American films she participated in? Her filmography doesn't support this claim.
- Most of her films are American/British co-productions, with a few of them being independent ones. Got a suggestion? —Vensatry (Talk) 12:12, 29 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- I suggest incorporating that information--the mix of US/UK films--instead of saying predominantly, which needs to be backed by a reliable source. Also, a reader might be curious how come this lady of Indian origin mainly doing films produced abroad? I mean its normal nowadays, but such a claim for a relatively new artist should be properly attributed. --124.107.75.38 (talk) 16:25, 30 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Done. I think the word "predominant" is essential because the majority of her films are American/British co-productions. —Vensatry (Talk) 17:49, 30 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- That must be supported by a reliable source, I'm afraid. --124.107.75.38 (talk) 18:01, 30 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Not really, it's more like a case of WP:OBVIOUS. —Vensatry (Talk) 18:34, 30 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- The examples given in the link do not support the case for Pinto. It's not a general fact, either, and not obvious, per se, for non Pinto afficionado. Aside from this, she's an actress hailed from India. To state that she "predominantly" do American films must be an established fact, and must be supported by a source compliant with WP:RS. To state that she acted in various American and British films is rather neutral. --124.107.75.38 (talk) 18:45, 30 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
*The filmography is barely supported with citations.
- That year, The Daily Telegraph reported Pinto as the highest-paid Indian actress, although she had not appeared in a Bollywood film. This isn't supported by Telegraph source. And the connection might be misconstrued (or unnecessary).
- Pinto is credited with breaking the stereotypical image... By whom? Stereotype should be linked, too.
- Suggestion. The two images under the section "acting career" should be switched. In basic layout, the direction of the face/gaze (for lack of better term) should tell which side the picture should be placed (i.e. if facing to the left, should be placed on the right side of the article).
- Is it not a convention to place images (at the beginning of a section) at the right side? I don't think swapping works because the images would look out of place as they become irrelevant to the paras. —Vensatry (Talk) 12:12, 29 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Slumdog Millionaire emerged as a sleeper hit, receiving acclaim particularly for its plot and soundtrack. Might imply that because it was a sleeper hit, it received acclaim such and such, or it received the latter because it became a sleeper hit.
- The Telegraph states that Pinto was unknown even in her native country until her starring role in Slumdog Millionaire, and that its success paved the way for her future projects. Is this included in the article?
- It's quite natural; you can't expect someone to become so popular before attaining celebrity status. To answer your question, the opening sentence of the 'Media image' clarifies this (although not directly). —Vensatry (Talk) 12:12, 29 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Why is premiere in the French form première?
- she spoke out against the Indian government's ban on India's Daughter... the phrasal verb means "To talk freely and fearlessly, as about a public issue." Is this the intended meaning? Also, is there any additional content / information? What did she say about it?
- Added a bit. Voicing opinions against a thing which has been banned in your motherland is certainly a bold act.
Thanks for your comments. —Vensatry (Talk) 12:12, 29 October 2015 (UTC)
[reply]
- Support I think I've come late to the party but after a read-through of the article (and comments made in this FAC) I'm happy to conclude that this meets the FA criteria. Nice work here! JAGUAR 17:34, 15 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- @Jaguar: Thanks for that! —Vensatry (Talk) 06:32, 16 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Lead:
- I would restructure it a bit. I'd keep the first para quite short, and wouldn't go into her biographical details until in the second para, see for example Julianne Moore.
- I think 'leading lady' is too informal, at least in the lead, and I think it's important to stress that this was also her first film role. I'd rewrite it, for example, "Pinto's first film role was in the British drama film Slumdog Millionaire, in which she starred opposite Dev Patel. The film was a critical and commercial success."
- I think you should also mention the success or failure of her films post-Slumdog; has she continued to receive good reviews? Of course you shouldn't mention every film she's done, but any notable box office/critical successes or failures.
- I think the bit about Indian criticism belongs in the previous paragraph.
Early life:
*"Pinto studied at the Carmel of St. Joseph School in the neighborhood, where she played sports and performed in the school choir." Source?
- Is AskMen a reliable source?
- How did Pinto end up as a model?
- You say she worked for Elite for two and a half years, and then that she continued modelling for 4 years? What was her agency after Elite? Do you mean she modeled for a total of 6,5 years, or for 4 years? This needs rewording. Why did she end her modeling career?
- "In a 2015 interview with the Daily Mirror" It doesn't seem like DM interviewed her, they just wrote about an interview she gave in The Late, Late Show. Tabloids are also generally not considered reliable sources, so I think it would be preferable to find another source for this, or use that episode of The LLS as source.
- I tried before, but couldn't find any newspaper sources. The episode is available on Youtube. You want me to include that? —Vensatry (Talk) 18:54, 28 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Does it even need to be included though? A lot of people take random jobs as teens or uni students. You can cite audiovisual material (the template for that should come up with a search); you wouldn't cite YouTube though — YT is just a hosting site, and I doubt the LLS episodes are there legally. But I really don't think this factoid needs to be included; if she hasn't spoken about it elsewhere, it's probably not notable enough to be included. TrueHeartSusie3 (talk) 19:01, 28 November 2015 (UTC)TrueHeartSusie3[reply]
- Also, I think it would be worth mentioning that how long she worked as an entertainer at children's parties, given that the previous sentences demonstrate that she was a pretty successful model, and the next one that she worked in television. Did she work as an entertainer between these jobs, (and why, if she was already a successful model)?
- Did she continue living in Mumbai during this time?
The para about her unsuccessful film auditions is otherwise good, but I'd begin it with "While working as [model, tv presenter, party entertainer, or whatever she was doing at the time], Pinto auditioned..."
Acting career:
2008-10:
* I wasn't aware that Elite sends their models to film castings (also, this is confusing since you state in the previous section that she was an Elite model for only two and a half years?) — is this normal practice or did the director specifically want a model for the role?
- Daily Express is a tabloid and as such, an unreliable source; I don't know enough about rediff, but it does not seem very reliable either. I'd try to find another source to replace these two.
NY Daily News is another tabloid; Fodor's writes travel guides, I wouldn't use it for film-related info.
- If possible, I'd like to see something on Pinto's experiences on making the film.
* "emerged as a sleeper hit" – I'd add how much the film made in the box office, perhaps contrasted against its budget.
- I'd also like to hear what the critics said about Pinto, i.e. I'd add a couple of quotes from notable film critics.
* I'd move this: "The film helped launch Pinto's career in Hollywood" to the beginning of the next section (you need to restate its title if you do so though)
- "received negative reviews upon release." Did the reviews comment on her performance?
- "played the central character" – 'starred' is simpler, especially since you use "she played" in the next sentence.
You need to cite more reliable sources for this statement: "The film received negative reviews, but critics praised Pinto's performance"
2011:
* I'd replace 'part' with something like 'film role'; also, since she appeared in several films released in 2011, you might consider mentioning this at the beginning of this section, so the readers know what to expect.
- 'However' is generally frowned upon in FA-level articles.
- It's not enough to cite just one review for the statement that the actors in Planet of the Apes were criticized; the source only demonstrates that this specific reviewer criticized them. I'm also not sure if IBtimes is considered reliable.
- Why did you choose to mention the Slate and Metro reviews instead of ones from NYTimes, LATimes, The Guardian, Variety, etc.?
- "unlike some of Pinto's previous films" – I'd say 'many' would be better; in fact, since this seems to have been her first film to receive good reviews since SM, you could just write it like that.
- "Trishna gained a positive response from critics." – While the source does indeed call the film 'critically acclaimed', I'd also add Metacritic and Rotten tomatoes as sources.
- Also, what did the reviewers say about Pinto's performance?
- I'd give Antonio Banderas' full name again; what was the reception of this film like?
- "She said that the film's extensive usage of CGI enabled her to prepare for her role in Rise of the Planet of the Apes." Very confusing, since this section begins with Planet of the Apes. I don't think it's necessary to mention this at all.
- How was The Immortals received?
- "She was criticised by the Indian media for a sequence that involved her shedding her clothes and becoming physically intimate with Mars" – Why did they criticize it?
- I think documentaries are generally referred as being narrated by someone; voice-over refers specifically to combining moving image + spoken words without the speaker being shown, and can be used in different ways.
- Not always. See Unity (film), there were a 100 narrators. You want me to change 'voice-overs' to 'narrators'? —Vensatry (Talk) 12:43, 29 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- ?? I don't understand what you mean. A voice-over, as its linked article tells us, is "a production technique where a voice—that is not part of the narrative (non-diegetic)—is used in a radio, television production, filmmaking, theatre, or other presentations". Documentaries use this technique a lot (combining narration + visuals without showing the narrator), but it can be used in any type of film. The person who narrates a documentary is called a narrator; it does not matter how many narrators there are. If you don't believe me, the documentary's article also refers to Pinto as a narrator. TrueHeartSusie3 (talk) 18:22, 29 November 2015 (UTC)TrueHeartSusie3[reply]
- "The film depicted the power of education in transforming girls' lives around the world" – I'd word this a bit differently, given that it's not a fictional film.
- " praised Pinto's "wattage"" ?
- How was Desert Dancer received?
- "Pinto's first film of 2015 Knight of Cups, in which " I think this needs rewording; also, it seems she has a supporting rather than starring role. At the moment the text implies she stars opposite Christian Bale.
What were its reviews like? I'm aware that it's not been widely released yet, but I'm sure all the important critics wrote about it after Berlin?
- How did Blunt Force Trauma fare in the box office, what were the reviews like?
Personal life
*"Before her appearance in Slumdog Millionaire" – I'd reword this. Perhaps "Before beginning her film career, Pinto was in a relationship with... She ended the relationship in January 2009, and began dating her SM co-star Dev Patel."
- "After being in a relationship for almost six years" – "After a six-year relationship"
- "Following that, Pinto relocated to Los Angeles from London." Confusing, since this is the first time it's mentioned that she'd been living in London.
US Weekly is a gossip rag, and hence does not qualify as a reliable source. Furthermore, the article in question discusses only rumours about their break-up; you'll need a source that quotes a statement from their publicists, or a direct quote from either of them stating that they are no longer a couple.
- "She was the only Indian actress to participate in their annual fund raiser, "The 15th Grand Slam for Children", aimed at providing education for underprivileged children" – Is this important enough to warrant a mention, especially since The Agassi Foundation, according to its website, works only in the US? Did she actually join the foundation i.e. is an ambassador, or did she simply attend one of its fundraisers? If it's the latter, it does not need to be mentioned.
- "Two years later, she was appointed as the global ambassador of Plan International's Because I am a Girl, a campaign that promotes gender equality with the aim of lifting millions of girls out of poverty. " – Needs a source.
- "she said the film needs to reach the public as it is not a "shame-India documentary"" – I'd also state why she thinks it's important for Indians to see this doc, if she has commented on it.
- There's no mention of her contract with L'Oreal – why not?
Media image
* I'd reword the first sentence to say something like " After her breakthrough role in Slumdog Millionaire (2008), Pinto has been frequently included in magazine polls." There's no need to state that she was an unknown model before that.
- But you don't need to state that even if there are famous models who've branched out to acting... All you need to state is that after SM, she was named in all of these polls, you don't need to state she wasn't popular in polls before, it's implied in that sentence. Just like you don't need to say "She's Indian, therefore she is not Canadian, or American, or British..." It's already been established in this article that she wasn't well known in any field before SM. TrueHeartSusie3 (talk) 18:22, 29 November 2015 (UTC)TrueHeartSusie3[reply]
- Separated both sentences. —Vensatry (Talk) 06:05, 30 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- I'd also specify the types of polls she's included; all of them appear related to beauty and fashion. Her being the highest-paid Indian actress doesn't belong in the same group with the beauty polls, I'd move it to the next para.
- Isn't that self-explanatory from the names of the polls? As for the highest-paid thing, it was reported in 2009, shorty after SM. So moving it to the next para would make it seem out-of-place. —Vensatry (Talk) 09:38, 29 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Because all of the polls are similar; in a well-written text, readers will already know what to expect when beginning to read a paragraph. When I started reading that para for the first time "included in magazine polls" made me think she has been included also in polls for her acting etc.; but it turns out she's only been included in beauty and fashion polls. You don't need to include these polls chronologically; what you need to prioritize is how the text 'flows' and whether the meaning you want to convey is as clear and easy to access as possible. The L'Oreal contract is not a poll, hence it should be discussed either before them or after. Being the highest-paid Indian actress in 2009 is not a poll; it's based on what she earns, not on opinions of journalists or audiences. Therefore it should not be included as a poll. TrueHeartSusie3 (talk) 10:20, 29 November 2015 (UTC)TrueHeartSusie3[reply]
- "she said she was consciously avoiding roles" – Has she stopped avoiding roles like that? If not, I think the present tense is more suitable.
- Remove 'however'
- "As an Indian woman, Pinto is credited by the media with breaking stereotypes of a leading lady in Hollywood" – Do you mean she breaks stereotypes about leading ladies in general, or stereotypes about Indian actresses? Who are 'the media' (give at least notable examples, if it's a general fact)? Also, I think 'leading lady' is pretty informal, I'd use 'female actor' or something like that.
- Okay now? —Vensatry (Talk) 09:38, 29 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- No, I'm still confused. Do you mean that before Pinto, Indian women have only been given stereotypical roles in Hollywood films? What do you mean by stereotype? And you've still not given any examples of 'the media'.TrueHeartSusie3 (talk) 10:20, 29 November 2015 (UTC)TrueHeartSusie3[reply]
- What do you mean by examples here? —Vensatry (Talk) 18:34, 29 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- At the moment it reads: "Pinto is credited by the Indian media with breaking the stereotypical image of Indian women playing leading roles in Hollywood." I have no idea of what the stereotype is, and hence no idea of how Freida Pinto is breaking the stereotype. It's not clear whether you mean that there is a stereotype of Indian women in Hollywood films (e.g. in the same way in which African-American women tend to be portrayed as maids, criminals or drug addicted prostitutes, and rarely as successful lawyers, doctors and journalists), or whether you mean that Pinto has been cast in starring roles, which are usually reserved for American actresses? Is it that she is portrayed in these films as a non-stereotypical Indian woman (in which case I'd like to see examples of what the stereotypical Indian woman is like), or that she's gotten leading roles in which her nationality/ethnicity is not brought up at all, which is rare for 'non-white' actors? TrueHeartSusie3 (talk) 19:12, 29 November 2015 (UTC)TrueHeartSusie3[reply]
Unfortunately I'm unable to support the FA nomination at the moment (therefore, oppose). The main reasons for this:
- There's very little on Pinto's thoughts about her work
- There's not enough information about the reception (commercial and critical) of many of her performances and films
- The article needs to cite more reliable sources
- It needs some rewording & restructuring, and is confusing in some places.
I definitely think this article has potential, and agree with the above user that Wikipedia sorely needs more diversity. I hope you are not discouraged by my review — all the article needs is just some more work. I'd use FA-level articles of actors like Angelina Jolie, Julianne Moore, Philip Seymour Hoffman, etc. as examples. Also, please don't hesitate to ask if you'd like me to further clarify any of the points I've made. TrueHeartSusie3 (talk) 15:09, 28 November 2015 (UTC)TrueHeartSusie3[reply]
EDIT: I checked the previous FA review as well as the peer review; I think you should follow Cirt's advice in the peer review, if you haven't already. Instead of immediately trying to fix the problems with this article, I would advise you to take a break to compare it to FA-level actor articles. Note the language they employ, how much weight they give to different aspects, how they group information, and the types of sources they use. TrueHeartSusie3 (talk) 10:20, 29 November 2015 (UTC)TrueHeartSusie3[reply]
- I'm afraid, the article has had two PRs, and copy-edits by a number of native users including the ones at the guild. As for 'Pinto's thoughts about her work', she is too young to have a say about it. Until now, she's played minor supporting roles in most of her films. Comparing her (article) with that of a highly accomplished actress like Moore is not the right way to deal with; Emma Watson (I know this was promoted long ago) and Josh Hutcherson would be the right ones. Give me sometime, I'll try to polish the article. —Vensatry (Talk) 10:57, 29 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- I'm aware it's already been through several reviews, but that does not change my view that this article is not ready for FA status. I understand that it can be frustrating to hear someone say these things when you've worked for a long time on an article, so don't be discouraged. I just really feel you need to spend some time reading through recent actor FAs and comparing them to this article, as the article has problems and quite frankly, I don't think many of the changes you've made following my review are improvements, or rather, they've introduced new issues, or it appears that you didn't understand the problem to begin with even when the problem should be quite obvious (e.g. you've replaced the Us Weekly article about the Pinto–Patel split with a Daily Telegraph article. That's a step to the right direction, but you have overlooked the fact that the DT article quotes the Us Weekly article, which doesn't give any source but uses tabloid terms like "sources close to Pinto claim...". Gossip mags and tabloids often use terminology like that to mask the fact that they don't necessarily even have any sources, but just needed to come up with something to sell that week's magazine. To establish that this couple have split, you need a RS article with a statement from them; this is basic source criticism, and anyone taking an article to FAC should be aware of it already.)
- I am fully aware that Pinto has been an active actor for only seven years, and hence her career cannot be compared to someone as established as Julianne Moore. But that wasn't even my point; my point was that all FAs need to adhere to certain common standards, as you know — they need to use only reliable sources, be broad in scope but not give undue weight to things that don't matter, and be written in professional-level prose. Therefore, when aiming to edit an article to FA standard, you can and should use current FAs as models. Naturally, Moore's article will be longer and more comprehensive than Pinto's as she's older and has had a longer career; however, the FA standards are the same for both articles. I offered those three as examples off the top of my head — you're of course free to use any FAs as examples. As for what I meant with Pinto's own thoughts about her work — actors usually get asked questions like "what made you choose this role/film?"; "what was it like working with [famous co-star, director]?"; "how did you prepare to play this character?" when promoting their films, I'm sure Pinto is no exception. TrueHeartSusie3 (talk) 18:22, 29 November 2015 (UTC)TrueHeartSusie3[reply]
- I never said I'm fully done with your concerns. This is after all a work-in-progress. —Vensatry (Talk) 18:37, 29 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- I absolutely don't understand why you're in a hurry. May be you want to see the nomination archived soon? And, please properly sign-in your posts by typing four tildes ~~~~. For now, it looks like you're affixing your username. —Vensatry (Talk) 18:42, 29 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- And I haven't implied that, I know you aren't done yet, I'm just replying to your comments? I'm getting really confused...? TrueHeartSusie3 (talk) 18:43, 29 November 2015 (UTC)TrueHeartSusie3[reply]
- I'm not meaning you opposed in a bad faith. But yes, your last reply implies so. —Vensatry (Talk) 18:46, 29 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Huh? What do you mean? I've spotted problems with the article, which are not just cosmetic ones; hence I don't think it's FA standard yet. The changes you've made and your comments to my review imply that you're not seeing these problems, even when some of them seem quite obvious, which makes me think that you would benefit from comparing the article to existing FAs. And what's this supposed to mean: "And, please properly sign-in your posts by typing four tildes ~~~~. For now, it looks like you're affixing your username." I've added four tildes every time before adding my username? TrueHeartSusie3 (talk) 18:51, 29 November 2015 (UTC)TrueHeartSusie3[reply]
- Well, at least could you strike out the concerns which you think are properly addressed? I'm finding it difficult to follow. As for the signature, yes, it does look like you're inserting your username after typing the four tildes. —Vensatry (Talk) 18:59, 29 November 2015 (UTC)r[reply]
- The list is not comprehensive, as new issues have appeared with your edits and I've also spotted things that I missed the first time. As I said already when I first reviewed this article, I'm sorry but you need to do more work on this article for me to support its FA nomination, as its issues are not just cosmetic — it's simply not ready to be nominated, it does not meet Featured article criteria. If I were you, I'd withdraw and submit for peer review, or to the guild of copyeditors. Your directing the discussion to my use of tildes (which is sufficient according to WP guidelines and has not been brought up by anyone else during my three years here), combined with the comments you've made in the previous FA review, make me think that you're taking this far too personally. That doesn't make me motivated to continue this discussion, on which I have already spent several hours. I've already given you a lot of tips on how to improve the article, including that your first step should be to compare the article to other actor FAs. TrueHeartSusie3 (talk) 19:30, 29 November 2015 (UTC)TrueHeartSusie3[reply]
- I'm sure you're aware this isn't an FLC. The article was agreed upon as being fairly comprehensive (by many users who had commented on the PR and this FAC) as there is hardly anything more to be said for the actress who has had a relatively-short career. It was copy-edited by a number of users who are highly experienced and professional level copy-editors. Agree, some issues with prose have come up. But that's mainly because of the changes which were suggested by you. Nevertheless, those are minor ones and I'm sure the article be polished in quick time. I'm not taking things personally, it's rather a few bad-faith editors like you who come up with trivial issues at the last minute and oppose for no reason. —Vensatry (Talk) 05:12, 30 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Also, why are you so adamant in striking out the concerns which have been addressed? Because, I disagreed with you on a couple of instances?
—Vensatry (Talk) 05:26, 30 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- You asked me to review this article, and I don't think it meets FA criteria; this doesn't mean it's a lousy article, merely that it's not one of the best yet. Yes, I'm really puzzled by some of your actions. I started by assuming good faith, that you genuinely just need to compare this article to other actors FAs, and maybe give FA criteria and MoS another read. Depending on how much time you have, I think the changes that this article needs to reach FA level could've been done in a week or so. But the more I interact with you, the more negative my opinion is becoming, unfortunately. I've spent several hours on this review and trying to think of ways to help you, but you don't seem to appreciate that. Instead of actually thinking why I've said the things I did and taking my advice, you resort to off-topic discussion and claiming that the review was done entirely in bad faith. If we start conferring FA status without making sure that the article meets FA criteria, then there's no point in even having these classifications. Reaching FA level takes hard work, and you should expect your reviewers to be thorough. If this was just a question of changing a couple of words, I would've said so. Furthermore, if you think the article cannot be majorly improved due to Pinto's short career, then why are you so determined on getting it named one of the best articles on Wikipedia? Why not concentrate on other Indian actors with more substantial careers, as I believe Dr. Blofeld suggested in one of the earlier reviews? Anyway, I'm sorry, but I think I'm done here. TrueHeartSusie3 (talk) 11:58, 30 November 2015 (UTC)TrueHeartSusie3[reply]
- I'm seriously puzzled at your behaviour. You said the article is not yet FA ready, asked me to take a break, go for another PR, and comeback. And, now you say "Depending on how much time you have, I think the changes that this article needs to reach FA level could've been done in a week or so." If you look at my responses (to individual concerns that has been pointed out by you), none of them were negative. On every instance, I either "agreed" or was seeking for your clarification. It's you who is responding in bad faith. That said, I'm very well aware of the FA criteria and MOS guidelines. Regarding your last point, I totally disagree with you. As I said earlier, we have Emma Watson and Josh Hutcherson. It's okay if you don't wish to review further, but at least strike/collapse the concerns which you think are addressed. Thanks, —Vensatry (Talk) 12:16, 30 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
(I'm beginning a new section for the sake of clarity) Vensatry and I had a discussion about the article on my talk page after the comments left on 30 Nov, and I have since spent several hours editing the article to demonstrate the types of changes I would like to see, as per our discussion. I also wanted to do this to demonstrate that my not supporting the FA nom is not due to some malicious intent, but because I genuinely feel it's simply not there yet. While Vensatry has made real progress with the article, my core concern remains the same and hence I still oppose it being named a FA. In the following paras, I'll try to explain the best I can why I don't think it meets FA criteria. I want to clarify that at this stage, I consider this article to be a good GA-level article; however, for FA, it needs to be close to perfection.
The foundation of a FA is extensive research, and its main contributor(s) have to be able to demonstrate that they are experts on the subject.
Pinto's career has lasted for less than ten years, and hence I would expect the main contributors to have read the majority of her interviews and profiles published in reliable sources. In other words, while I believe that Vensatry has done a lot of research, for FA level he needs to do even more research. By the time that an article is nominated for a FA, there should not be any major issues with sources or the scope of the article; the changes made in FA review should be merely 'cosmetic', e.g. correcting typos, polishing the prose, further clarifying a fact or two. However, I've noticed the following issues:
- Before, the section about Pinto's career mostly just listed her films. In a FA-level article, the section should not simply provide her filmography, but also analysis of her career, e.g. her own opinions and thoughts on her roles, information about the films' reception. A huge step to the right direction has been made during this review, but it's still not where it needs to be in terms of comprehensiveness.
- I'm concerned by the fact that some of the basic facts about her life seem to have changed during this review (e.g. how her films were received) or have only been added during it. This implies that the article is not ready for FA, and the overall impression I get from the article is that the main contributor may not be aware of many of the interviews Pinto has given. I did some research while editing, and was able to find plenty of articles from reputable publications where Pinto discusses her life and work. The source material certainly exists, but it will take extensive research to collect and go through it.
- When I first began reviewing, the article cited some unreliable sources; given that new unreliable sources (e.g. HuffPost twice, DT citing Us Weekly) were added as corrections makes me think that more work needs to be done identifying reliable sources.
- Very general statements were made with very little backing from appropriate sources (e.g. one review does not imply what the reviews were like in general, Rottentomatoes or Metacritic are for that) — this has mostly been corrected now, but should've happened before FAC.
- Occasionally, material has been misattributed (e.g. Tzanelli doesn't say anything about her performing at uni, just that she did amateur theater; she didn't live in London, but split her time between London and Mumbai...) or misunderstood (e.g. LATimes interview categorized and used as an example of a review)
- The article was often very confusing (e.g. the length of Pinto's modeling career), and there are still issues, specifically in the 'charity' section, which does not make it clear what charities she supports as an ambassador, board member etc., and what her opinions are about the political issues she campaigns for. Again, more research needs to be done.
In short, the article demonstrates GA-level knowledge of the subject, but not FA-level. Again, a FA review is not just a peer review that may result in the article being graded a FA; the article has to already be in excellent shape with no major issues when it is nominated. This article had major issues to begin with (with research, scope, prose, clarity), and even though progress has definitely been made, more work needs to be done. I hope my criticism and editing aids the main contributor with developing the article, and I'm sorry that I cannot support the FA nomination at this stage. Vensatry, you do not need to reply to this unless you really want to, as this is my final decision and I'm unlikely to change it. TrueHeartSusie3 (talk) 17:46, 1 December 2015 (UTC)TrueHeartSusie3[reply]
- While I certainly value TrueHeartSusie3's inputs, I don't think most of her claims, particularly about the usage of reliable sources in the article, are serious issues. To be very honest, I was not aware of non-reliability of the tabloid sources until the peer review; I missed out a few. In most cases, sources were apparently easy to find and replaceable. Agree with the lack of reviews (of her performances) though. But now that seems to be taken care of. As for the prose, the article was copy-edited by a number of native speakers, including the ones at GOCE. I must say it was after TrueHeartSusie3's recent copy-edits, some minor errors were introduced in the article, which I had to fix. Thanks to TrueHeartSusie3 for her time. —Vensatry (Talk) 12:28, 4 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- " Pinto has subsequently appeared in a number of British and American productions including You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010), Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011), Immortals (2011), and Trishna (2011)." -that was nearly five years ago, nothing since?
- "Although the Indian media credited Pinto with breaking the stereotypical image of an Indian woman in foreign films, it criticised her " -shouldn't it be "have credited" and "it has credited"
- "In addition to her acting career, she engages in philanthropic activities and promotes humanitarian causes that include her duties as a global ambassador of the Because I Am a Girl campaign." -a bit awkward.
- "Pinto had a middle class upbringing in the suburb of Malad." -should be new paragraph.
- Why is psychology linked and not economics?
- "Despite her interest in acting from an early age, Pinto was undecided on which career path to take until watching Monster (2003) while at college: "I guess it was when I watched Monster ... And then I pretty much knew. I had to find a way. I had to do something like that, something completely transformational."" -too long. . I'd add a fullstop after college and then add "She stated:
- "Pinto later stated it was good learning experience, stating t" -should be "that it was a good" and you should avoid repetition of stated/ing
- "She appeared in a supporting role" -you don't really appear in a role. You appear in a film, or portray a character.
- "Pinto appeared in four films released in 2011." -you don't really need to say both appeared and released, just "In 2011, Pinto starred in four films". or something.
- "Pinto's second screen appearance of 2011 " -no need to mention year again.
- " Pinto's final screen appearance of 2011 " -again you can say "the year" instead
- "She appeared in the music video for Bruno Mars' single "Gorilla" in 2013, for which she was criticised by the Indian media as it showed her shedding her clothes and becoming physically intimate with Mars;[57] Hindustan Times called the act "dirty dancing".[5" -really awkward structuring. Needs ewriting, something like "In 2013, Pinto was criticised in the Indian press for appearing in the music video for Bruno Mars' single "Gorilla", in which she sheds her clothes and becomes physically intimate with Mars. The Hindustan Times dismissed it as little more than "dirty dancing",
- "John DeFore of The Hollywood Reporter criticized the film," -are we using American or British/Indian English? Inconsistent spelling with further up article
- "who had been her publicist at one point. " -vague
- There was a discussion about this in the PR as well as the FAC (THS's comments). The wordings were suggested by Relentlessly, who thought that the source was not clear. I tried finding other sources, most of which were not clear and contradicting with each other. So we thought it's better to have it this way. —Vensatry (Talk) 07:58, 20 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- " she spoke at the "Girls' rights summit" in London, where she called for more progress toward the end of female genital mutilation and child marriage.[85] The following year, she spoke o" -rep of spoke.
Oppose While I disagree with TrueHeartSusie that an article has to be perfect or even close to it (I think that's one of the most off-putting things with editors and FAC, they think it has to be perfect and there's no such thing as perfection) I'm afraid I agree with her overall and know what she's trying to say. The prose and overall quality of information isn't even close to FA standard. The prose in places is clumsy and awkwardly structured. It badly needs rewriting or polishing up to improve the overall flow, as well as content on some of her roles and production which might improve the quality and make it seem a little more encyclopedic. It's not just a few minor prose issues, it should be blatantly obvious to any fluent English speaker reading it throughout the entire article. It's always going to be difficult on an actress with limited roles, but this isn't even close to the level needed for featured articles on actors. Sorry Vensatry, I know this isn't what you wanted to hear but I hope you respect that I have to be honest and review this fairly.♦ Dr. Blofeld 18:47, 19 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
But it would be nice if some specific examples are given. I must say TrueHeartSusie's (of course made in good faith) edits introduced quite a number of glitches. If you feel still there is a chance for improvements (in prose) so that the article will be polished with in the 'allowed time', please let me know. Otherwise, there is no point in working. —Vensatry (Talk) 06:23, 20 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks for the comments. The ones which you'd listed above are really minor ones. Except for a couple of ones (where I seek clarification) all of those have been resolved. —Vensatry (Talk) 07:58, 20 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Closing comment -- Sorry but this review has been open almost two months and we still don't have consensus to promote, so I'm going to archive and ask that any further work be undertaken outside the FAC process. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 05:24, 21 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
- The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.
The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 05:01, 12 December 2015 [14].
- Nominator(s): Metal121 (talk) 21:09, 18 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
This article is about the 2014 action film Skin Trade, which co-stars Dolph Lundgren and Tony Jaa. The film's subject matter is human trafficking, while Lundgren portrays Nick Cassidy, a New Jersey police detective seeking to avenge his family's murder. I believe this article should be featured because, in my opinion, it meets all of the "featured article" criteria. I, Metal121, am responsible for getting the article promoted to "good article" status. Although I have made a lot of edits to the article since it was promoted to GA status - some of which may seem compulsive - I strongly believe that this article has been well written. The article has received a number of copy-edits by other Wikipedia editors, and I see no issues with the way it is written. I look forward to hearing back from any reviewers and will take any constructive criticism in a positive manner. Any suggestions by the reviewer will also be taken onboard to improve the article, if needed. All the best, Martin (aka Metal121). -- Metal121 (talk) 21:09, 18 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Comments: I found this article difficult to read and in need of some copyediting. Consider the lede; it starts by mixing information on the stars with comments about writing, then moves to the next para which starts talking about the writing before moving onto the shooting schedule, and finally onto the release details, which are at least a single topic. So here's some suggestions, but I think there's still some work before it can be readied for FA.
- "Lundgren wrote the film;"
This should be the second sentence of the second para in the lede. It's completely out of place where it is.
- "The film was shot over 50 days"
Starting when? Development began in 2007, so did it sit on a shelf for 5 years?
- "detective Nick Cassidy is told that mobster "
If this is by his captain, it could be combined with the following statements to improve clarity.
Suggest this be the start of a new para.
- "The ship's captain is held responsible and shot in the head"
By whom? I suspect by the traffickers? It could be the cops in the shootout?
I don't think that translates well outside the US. Suggest "after X paid his bail", where X is the person or group who did so.
- "In Cambodia"
- "Cassidy travels to Thailand in pursuit of Dragovich"
So, (a) did he move from Cambodia to Thailand, and (b), how does Cassidy know he's there?
- "After fighting with Tony"
So... I'm guessing that he didn't see Reed kill his partner?
- "Ivan and Goran shoot their half-brother, Janko, on behalf of their father"
What? This makes no sense.
- "Tony arrives and attempts to kill Cassidy"
Attempts to kill him? No more arrests?
- "learning the truth about his partner's death"
And how does this happen?
- "Lundgren started researching human trafficking in 2005"
I'm worried about this statement. I read about human trafficking in Red Sea Sharks when I was a kid but I wouldn't call that "research". Do any of the sources tell us what this "research" consisted of?
- "frequently regarding the setting"
I suspect this means "repeatedly changing the setting of the film"?
- "Lundgren, who had "two young daughters" at the time"
Why is two young daughters quoted? Generally this whole section has too many quote marks around things that don't appear to be quotes.
- "In 2013, Lundgren announced"
Suggest this whole section be re-arranged with a separate para about Uekrongtham.
- "On February 7, 2014, SC Films"
This is the first mention of SC Films, which I think needs to be explained. How and when did they get involved? Is SC the "someone" quoted above?
The rest generally works. Maury Markowitz (talk) 13:20, 26 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Closing comment -- This nom seems to have stalled so I'll be archiving it shortly; I note a PR has been opened for it while the FAC was running, and we shouldn't have both running simultaneously anyway. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 05:00, 12 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.