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Nominator: KGRAMR (talk · contribs) 18:06, 1 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Shooterwalker (talk · contribs) 19:03, 4 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'm going to take this one on. Look for more comments within the week. Shooterwalker (talk) 19:03, 4 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• Let's start with the body and then circle back to the lead.
• Gameplay
• Great first sentence. Very clear.
• "The premise takes place in a future where an interstellar war broke out when alien forces arrived on Earth, however the inhabitants of a planetoid near Earth called Haven-7 were left on their own with the Starblade ship as their only defense." -> "The story is set in a future where an interstellar war erupts after alien forces arrive on Earth. The inhabitants of a nearby planetoid called Haven-7 are left to fend for themselves, with the Starblade ship as their only defense."

 Done

• "The player acts as the protector of Haven-7 in command of the ship and the main objective is to defeat waves of invading aliens while protecting humans." -> The player commands the Starblade, protecting Haven-7 against waves of invading aliens."

 Done

• "The player controls the Starblade ship which flies from left to right with a radar at the top of the screen. The radar shows incoming enemies, hazards and humans across the playfield." -> "The Starblade can fly from left to right, with a radar showing both dangers and humans across the level."

 Done

• "Landers pick up humans and try to take them to the top of the screen to mutate. The player must shoot down the landers to rescue the human." -> "Enemy landers pick up humans and attempt to transport them to the top of the screen for mutation, but the player can interrupt this by shooting them down."

 Done

• "After each level, the player is presented with a shop where items and power-ups like extra lives, rapid fire, shields, and bombs, can be purchased with money dropped by certain enemies when defeated as red orbs." -> "Enemies sometimes drop red orbs, which the player can spend at a shop between levels, allowing them to purchase items such as shields, bombs, extra lives, and rapid fire."

 Done

• "Some enemies also spawn power-ups in the form of green pods when defeated for rapid fire and upgrades such as a hyperspace jump, energy restoration, and "Protector", which nullifies the Landers' ability to pick up humans." -> "Some enemies instead drop green pods, offering power-ups such as energy, hyperspace jumps, or "Protectors" that block enemy landers from kidnapping humans."

 Done

• "... resulting in a penalty for reducing the ship's firepower to its original state." -> "forcing the player to restart the level with only their basic firepower."

 Done

• Production
• Just to clarify, Todd Howard's only role on this was producer?

Yes, as seen in this picture (https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=10156388221523748&set=gm.1707946059296504) posted by Joergen Bech himself on a Atari Jaguar facebook fan group, which was previously available on Bech's own personal website before it dissapeared (https://web.archive.org/web/20010212030658/http://home1.inet.tele.dk/jbech/protectordevelopment.htm), Todd Howard's role was that of executive producer. However, the final release for some reason ommited his name from the credits but i can remove it if you want... Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:20, 7 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• "who worked on several ZX Spectrum titles as well as Globulus for Amiga and Spider-Man for the Master System at Innerprise Software." -> "who worked on Globulus for the Amiga, Spider-Man for the Sega Master System, and several other titles for the ZX Spectrum."

 Done

• "Bech left the video game industry due to his negative experience at Innerprise but decided to return as a game programmer after studying international marketing, landing a job at Bethesda thanks to his programming knowledge and an acquaintance who had a connection with the company." -> "Bech had left the video game industry after his negative experience working at Innerprise, but took a job at Bethesda after an acquaintance connected him with the company."

 Done

• The second paragraph seems almost off topic, talking about their work on Datastorm and NCAA Basketball. You could cut it almost entirely. (Or try to drastically shorten it, refocusing the paragraph back onto the production of Protector.)

 Done -- I shortened it. Basically, Joergen Bech was tasked with porting NCAA Basketball: Road to the Final Four 2 to the Jaguar but due to his lack of experience with 3D, the staff decided Bech should spent time becoming familiar with the Jaguar working a port of Datastorm. Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:15, 7 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• Before we go much further with production/development, I'd encourage you to refocus the section on the production of Protector. People can read about the production of those other games at their respective articles.

Let's pause there. You're off to a good start, and we'll keep working at it. Shooterwalker (talk) 13:57, 6 August 2024 (UTC) @Shooterwalker:I'll tackle each inquiry after i'm done with my dayjob this evening. Roberth Martinez (talk) 15:00, 7 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Take your time. Shooterwalker (talk) 16:55, 7 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Shooterwalker:OK, first pass done. Ping me when you're ready with the second pass of the article. Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:15, 7 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Good work so far. Let's keep going.

• Loose ends
• "The game also has a multiplayer option that allows two players to play alternately." -> it's unclear what the word "alternately" is doing here. Like not at the same time?

 Done -- I clarified said sentence with the following line: "In addition, the game also has a multiplayer option which allows two players to play by alternating turns." Roberth Martinez (talk) 22:18, 8 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• Just to be safe, let's replace "co-produced" with "executive produced".

 Done

• "Betheseda received free Atari Jaguar game development kits from Atari and Bech was initially tasked with converting NCAA Basketball: Road to the Final Four 2 to Jaguar, but he had no experience with 3D programming and the staff decided he should spent time becoming familiar with the hardware and work a port of Datastorm as a solo test project in 1994." -> "Bethesda got free Atari Jaguar development kits and initially tasked Bech with porting NCAA Basketball: Road to the Final Four 2 to the Jaguar. However, due to his lack of 3D programming experience, they decided he should first familiarize himself with the hardware by working on a solo port of Datastorm in 1994."
• Development
• " Bech planned not making a direct conversion, as the Jaguar's capabilities exceed those of the Amiga and wanted to make a game closer to Defender (1981)." -> this would make a better sentence to finish up the previous section.

 Done

• "All code was written in assembly to get the game running at 60 frames per second, while game logic was done by the Jaguar's Motorola 68000, as Bech could not fit it into the GPU's limited memory." -> "Bech decided to code the game in assembly, in order to maximize the game's frame rate and work with the Jaguar's limited GPU."

 Done

• "Sprites were kept small in size to avoid memory issues with the Jaguar's object processor, while the number of active objects on-screen was maintained by lists indicating how many enemies appeared at once, but some enemies were made more aggressive." -> "Sprites were kept small to prevent memory issues with the Jaguar’s object processor, while the number of active on-screen objects were maintained by lists." (the aggression of the enemies feels out of place with all this technical information)

 Done

• "The graphics and backgrounds were taken from a CD containing royalty-free images, while the hyperspace jump effect was done with Alias PowerAnimator using an SGI workstation and pre-rendered sprites were done by Bech using 3D Studio." -> "Graphics and backgrounds came from a CD of royalty-free images. The hyperspace jump effect was created with Alias PowerAnimator on an SGI workstation, and pre-rendered sprites were made by Bech using 3D Studio."

 Done

• "while the title screen was a cropped scan of the box art for Datastorm." -> "and the title screen used a cropped scan of the Datastorm box art."

 Done

• "The game, now titled Protector, was fully playable by March 1995 but Bethesda found out about Defender 2000 and Atari did not want to publish it under their label." -> "Now titled Protector, the game was fully playable by March 1995, but Atari did not want to publish it due to perceived competition with Defender 2000."

 Done

• Make sure "Protector" is consistently italicized.

 Done

• "In 1998, Bech discussed about the game on Usenet where Carl Forhan noticed his posts. Forhan had started researching what it would take to create games in his spare time when Atari dropped support for the Jaguar. He began searching for companies that had worked on unreleased Jaguar games to see if they would be willing to license the games to him." -> "After Atari dropped support for the Jaguar, a programmer named Carl Forhan began searching for unreleased Jaguar games that he might license and finish on his own. In 1998, he saw Bech discuss Protector on a Usenet forum."

 Done

• " In 1999" -> "The following year"

 Done

• "In 1999, Forhan founded Songbird Productions after licensing several unreleased games with former Atari developers to support Atari consoles including Jaguar." -> "The following year, Forhan founded Songbird Productions to complete Protector and other unreleased games he had licensed from former Atari developers."

 Done

• "That same year, Hasbro Interactive declared the Jaguar as an open platform, releasing the console's patents and rights into public domain after much lobbying from Atari fans, allowing software developers to make and release games for Jaguar without a licensing agreement." -> "That same year, Atari fans successfully lobbied Hasbro Interactive to release the console's patents and rights into the public domain, transforming the Jaguar into an open game development platform."

 Done

• "Forham proceeded to finalize the game for release by adding a reworked enemy AI, a power-up scheme, among other improvements." -> "Forham proceeded to finish the game with his own improvements, including a reworked enemy AI and power-up scheme."

 Done

We can pause there. There are a lot of things to work through, but it is definitely on track. Shooterwalker (talk) 13:23, 8 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Shooterwalker:Second pass done! Ping me once you come with the third pass of the article. Roberth Martinez (talk) 22:47, 8 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]