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Nominator: TrademarkedTWOrantula (talk · contribs) 01:48, 19 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: IceWelder (talk · contribs) 17:07, 20 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Will do this in the next few days, probably tomorrow. Please nudge if I haven't done anything in a week. IceWelder [✉] 17:07, 20 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

• Unity should be mentioned in the body and sourced, otherwise removed.
  • Found and used this source.
• The platforms should be in alphabetical order for simultaneous releases, i.e. Linux, macOS, PlayStation 4, Windows, Xbox One. This should also apply to the rest of the article.
  • Alphabetized.
• Should use "macOS" instead of just "Mac" to differentiate from the classic Mac OS. This should also apply to the rest of the article.
  • Done.
• Release lists usually do without colons after platform names.
  • Removed.
• "Droid" is not a common abbreviation for "Android".
  • Removed (see point directly below).
• The Android release date is currently unsourced, and no mention of the platform exists in the article.
  • The game didn't release for Android, it released for Nvidia Shield. Unfortunately, I couldn't find a reliable source for this; this was the closest I could find.

Lead

• I recommend avoiding false titles.
  • Fixed? (all I did was add "the" to "independent Swedish studio", not sure if that's good)
    • Yep, that's perfect. IceWelder [✉] 08:19, 25 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• "in which the player must navigate through" → "the player must navigate".
  • Changed.
• "The concept of Clustertruck" could be shortened to "This concept" since it refers to the preceding sentence.
  • Changed.
• "experience" feels a bit misleading here. Consider: "This concept originated from Landfall Games's founder, Wilhelm Nylund, picturing himself leaping across trucks to escape dense traffic."
  • Good idea! We could save the details for later.
• Traffic is likely a bit too common to link.
  • Thought so. Unlinked.
• "Microsoft Windows" should be "Windows" as that is the common name.
  • Changed.
• Perhaps mention that the Switch version was criticized primarily for its controls.
  • Reworded + mentioned.
• You use American spelling here but pair it with dmy dates. One should be aligned with the other.
  • Darn it. Switched to mdy dates.

Gameplay

• Please separate "first-person" and "platformer" per MOS:SEAOFBLUE.
  • Done.
• This should probably mention that the trucks are moving.
  • Fixed??? Added word "moving" to "trucks"
• Please clarify what "with real-time physics" means. I imagine it refers to them hitting obstacles and each other, but an uninformed reader might not.
  • May or may have been fixed. Really not sure what I'm supposed to do here (I added an explanation on how the trucks interact)
    • That should do. IceWelder [✉] 08:19, 25 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• Game physics may be a better-fitting link than Physics engine.
  • Changed.
• "while trucks tip over" – Is this related to the player's aforementioned actions or should this be part of the physics sentence?
  • Removed.
• "Each world introduces a new obstacle" – Perhaps name a few examples.
  • Named two. Should I go for three?
    • Do as many as you like. IceWelder [✉] 08:19, 25 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• spent for → spent on.
  • Changed.
• Consider linking grappling hook.
  • Linked.
• "Outside the main campaign" – Assuming there is no side campaign, this can be shortened.
  • Removed.
• If you manage to expand the gameplay section a bit, perhaps the screenshot can also fit there on the left side to avoid it and the reviews table breaking out of the article on larger screens.
  • Noted. (on second thought, I think I'll do this now)
• Perhaps the developers allowing themselves to interfere may also be noteworthy?
  • I'm not sure how that fits in the gameplay section and if that's even relevant.
    • It has been noted by quite a few sources, such as [1][2][3], so I would say it is a large part of the appeal for streamers. IceWelder [✉] 08:19, 25 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

  • Added.

  TWOrantula^TM (enter the web) 01:27, 29 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Development and release

• Since the entire first paragraph only uses ref #12, it should be enough to use it once at the end.
  • Condensed.
• "conceptualized the idea for the game while being surrounded by trucks in traffic." – The text already goes on to explain how this inspired his prototype, so this fragment may be unnecessary.
  • Removed, but kept the part about him being in traffic.
• "Each new feature would be" → "New features were".
  • Reworded.
• "whether or not" → "whether".
  • Reworded.
• "Landfall Games ultimately added powerups—such as double jumps, air dashes, and a jet pack—and obstacles, including lasers and wheel spokes." – This should probably be in the Gameplay section.
  • Not done: This does mention what features made it into the final game + there's a brief explanation of gimmicks as you told me to add before.
    • My idea was that the gameplay section contains all information that may be relevant to the gameplay, including the lists of upgrades and obstacles. Usually, you wouldn't expect to find relevant elements as far down as here. IceWelder [✉] 08:19, 25 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
• "an early public alpha build" – "public" feels redundant here.
  • "Public alpha" is (technically) the correct term, but I agree that it should be removed.
• "During the alpha phase, playtesters discovered that ..." – Is this an issue? Was something done about this?
  • See point below.
• "Feedback from Discord users made the game more optimal for speedrunning." – How so?
  • The original source says, "One particular area where this was the case was in respect to speedrunning and score chasing. During the alpha release, many speedrunners were finding it extremely difficult to optimize their runs, so they approached the programmers through Discord in order to voice their grievances and offer suggestions." It turns out I misinterpreted this quote a bit.

• "However, Nylund clarified that the team had extended development due to the game's popularity during alpha testing." → "This was postponed as the game's early popularity led the team to extend its development."
  • Reworded.
• Consider linking "PAX South 2016" in its entirety as a corresponding redirect to the entry at List of PAX events exists.
  • Done.
• The 65,000 figure is an estimation by Steam Spy. It should be removed or contextualized per the note at WP:VG/S.
  • Not sure how to solve this. The note says that the number can be used "if sales estimated by Steam Spy are noted by a third-party."
    • I would at least mention that the number an estimation. IceWelder [✉] 08:19, 25 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• The Super Truck sentence makes it sound as though it could be Superhot with trucks (i.e. a first-person shooter) instead of Clustertruck with slow-down. Consider rewording this slightly.
  • Changed "time" to "trucks".
• "April Fools" → "April Fools' Day".
  • Done.

Reception

• Giving only Metacritic's labels makes the PC and consoles versions feel quite differently reviewed, despite being less than ten points apart. Consider mentioning the scores in the text for the reader to comprehend how these labels were generated.
  • Mentioned.

• Lopes's objective gameplay descriptions seem unfit for this section.
  • I'll just remove it.
• ""masterfully [implementing]" casual and hardcore gameplay" – The quote refers to how the two aspects are blended, not how each individually was implemented. Please rephrase.
  • Rephrased??
• "citing his experience with the ice physics in the tenth level of the third world" – This incredibly specific, perhaps just mentioning that ice exists in the Gameplay section would be better.
  • Moved.
• "the double jump was only necessary" – This appears to be missing a word.
  • Where?
• "was "too long", goes against the game's concept" – Indirect quote tone should be used consistently here.
  • Unquoted.

• "Clustertruck was praised for its original soundtrack and three-dimensional graphics." – Neither of the two sources seems to highlight the graphics for their quality.
  • I'm just gonna remove any details about graphics.
• fit with the chaotic gameplay → fit the chaotic gameplay.
  • Changed.
• "Theriault appreciated how the music did not restart with the game" – Having not checked the source yet, I don't know what this means.
  • Reworded. FYI: "The music isn’t all that memorable though, with the constant restarting, I did appreciate that the music didn’t also restart at the same time."
• Does the Mirror's Edge Catalyst comparison really reflect the graphics quality or just how most elements are white and flat with the occasional red?
  • [Translated]: "Similarly, the graphics are pretty flat and simple. They were already that way on PC, which was very reminiscent of Mirror's Edge Catalyst." The author doesn't explain how they're alike, so I decided to remove it.

• "Bathge found it "almost impossible" to jump and rotate the camera" – The structure makes this out to be a performance flaw, but the source says it is a problem with the controls.
  • Reworded.
• The above is also seemingly the only mention of a performance issue, so the introduction that the performance was criticised seems untrue.
  • Reworded.

• Overall, this section feels a little thin. You have a lot of reviews at your disposal but use many of them just once. Glossing over the PC Games review, for example, I found a lot more points that could be addressed, such as the short duration or how the console vrsions are lacking leaderboards.
  • Usually, I thought you could only use sources from Metacritic in the reception section. That's on me; I did not know you could use reliable sources other than reviews.

References

• The Gamer (#8) should be TheGamer.
  • Done.
• "Speed" (#15) is not a proper noun and should be lower-cased.
  • That's how they capitalized it, but changed away.
    • Sorry about that, I meant that it shouldn't be capitalized in the translation. In German, all nouns are always capitalized. IceWelder [✉] 08:19, 25 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
      • Ah. Fixed.
• PCGamer (#18) should be PC Gamer.
  • Changed.
• It's probably sufficient to cite Metacritic's overview page, which now shows the scores for all platforms, instead of each platform individually (#20, #21, #22).
  • Done.

Other

• The official website should be HTTPS'ed.
  • Done.
• The MobyGames external link should be removed per WP:ELMINOFFICIAL.
  • Keeping this. It's useful to include a database because it may provide information not worth mentioning in the article, plus multiple articles I've seen often link to this website.

@TrademarkedTWOrantula: Apologies for the delay. This concludes my initial review. Feel free to strike through or reply to individual comments as you work on them. Regards, IceWelder [✉] 16:22, 23 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you, IceWelder! TWOrantula^TM (enter the web) 16:25, 23 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I will get to these comments soon; right now, I have to be somewhere. Thanks again for the review. TWOrantula^TM (enter the web) 16:36, 23 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@IceWelder: Done! (Although I had some trouble figuring out what needed to be changed.) TWOrantula^TM (enter the web) 05:30, 24 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for this. Sorry if some of my points weren't too clear, I'd always appreciate feedback on how to improve my reviewing process! Please see my replies above. Once everything is done, I'll give it another good read. IceWelder [✉] 08:19, 25 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@IceWelder: I believe I have responded to all your points. TWOrantula^TM (enter the web) 01:28, 29 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I still believe the list of obstacles and power-ups should be in the Gameplay section as this is where most readers would expect such content, especially if it resembles the final state of the game. If you would like to keep it as a the result of the internal playtesting, you can still keep a brief, more general mention of obstacles and power-ups being added down there. IceWelder [✉] 07:02, 29 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Great idea, actually. I'll move it to the gameplay section since it shows what passed. TWOrantula^TM (enter the web) 16:07, 29 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

 Done TWOrantula^TM (enter the web) 16:10, 29 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Gave it another good read a few quick edits. The article looks to be in a good shape now.  Passed. Regards, IceWelder [✉] 18:34, 29 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Awesome! Thanks for the review. TWOrantula^TM (enter the web) 20:38, 29 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]