This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because FA (before it hosts the MLS Cup Final on Nov 22) would be fun and every article needs a little TLC. I notice that I tend to write dryly on Wikipedia so please address any syntax issues or anything else that comes up.
Thanks, Cptnono (talk) 07:42, 12 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Unless there's some dopey Wikipedia rule about this like punctuation always going outside quotation marks (WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!...ahem), First & Goal Inc should be First & Goal Inc.
- D'oh. That was me being confused by their branding guidelines. Fixed.Cptnono (talk) 07:14, 17 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- taxes on stadium admissions and parking Presumably this is from before Qwest Field was built, so to what stadium(s) does this refer? Just the Kingdome, or Husky Stadium too, or even more than that? Or does it refer to future revenue at Qwest?
- Qwest and exhibition center so changed to "facility's" Cptnono (talk) 07:14, 17 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- 97% percent of the Kingdome rubble was recycled with 35% used as fill for the new stadium. I'd advise against starting sentences with numerals - either spell out the numbers, or include an introductory clause.
- "Almost all" insteadCptnono (talk)
- The soft soil of the site was a challenge since it was once mudflats until public works projects in the early 20th century adjusted the waterline of nearby Elliot Bay. Wikilinking 20th century here seems a bit overkill.
- Agreed. emoved.
- It has a vertically orientated scoreboard Is orientated standard in American English? I would say oriented.
- Per AskOxfrd.com "Oriented is prevalent in technical use, and in the US." Both apply here so nice catch. Fixed
- The Grenada national football team I realize they call it football, but for most of this article, the word football has quite a different meaning, and soccer is used instead as the name of this team's sport. Suggest piping this to display the word "soccer" for the team.
- Both are redundant. "Grenada national team"
- they went through the season undefeated at the stadium]]. Was this supposed to be a wikilink to something?
- I don't know. Fixed.
- It was the first time they won 10 games in a single season for 17 years. I believe for x amount of time indicates a time lapse to the future, while in x amount of time indicates a time lapse to the past. Suggest in a single season in 17 years.
- "It was the first time the team won 10 games in the its 17 year history"Cptnono (talk) 07:14, 17 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- In this "Football" section, I find it awkward that words like "2005 season" are piped to articles on the entirety of the NFL, while it is the word "Seahawks" that is repeatedly linked to articles on the team's season. It looks strange for the same word to be linked numerous times, especially when it's the team most connected to Qwest Field. I would suggest delinking "Seahawks" and link "2005 season" and such to 2005 Seattle Seahawks season. This is done with 2006 season, which makes it especially strange. Suggest linking "St. Louis Rams" and "Dallas Cowboys" to the teams, as these links to 2004 St. Louis Rams season and 2006 Dallas Cowboys season would seem to violate WP:EGG.
- That looked like poop. Fixed.
- Qwest Field has earned a reputation for being the loudest stadium in the NFL.[36][2] Lower-numbered references should occur first.
- FixedCptnono (talk)
- No mention of the little tizzy fit with Texas A&M or Texas Tech or whoever the hell it was over the 12th Man? Not sure if that would be considered not focused.
- This could be on the team article or the 12 man article.Cptnono (talk) 07:14, 17 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- The games did not continue after Western Washington canceled its football program in 2009. Awkward sentence - it seems to suggest that it was possible for the games to continue when WWU no longer had a football program. Suggest The rivalry (or whatever) ceased after 2008 when Western discontinued its football program.
- Nice. Fixed.Cptnono (talk)
Just a few thoughts, mostly prose-related. Hope it helps. Alex finds herself awake at night (Talk · What keeps her up) 02:04, 17 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks Nosleep! Cptnono (talk) 05:57, 17 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]