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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 01:26, 31 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'll get to this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 01:26, 31 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• No DABs, external links OK
• He was on probation to become a commissioned officer at the time he was killed in the Second Battle of Bapaume during which he performed the actions that led to the posthumous award of the VC. Kind of long sentence. Perhaps break it in half or something.

• Have rephrased. Zawed (talk) 00:49, 25 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• born in Wellington, New Zealand comma after Zealand

• Done. Zawed (talk) 00:49, 25 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• Redlink SS Maori. Also do you know what kind of a ship it was? Seems rather odd that a ship would need a night watchman.

• Have redlinked the ship. Spent a bit of time looking into this but I can't pin down what kind of ship it was as there were a few with that name back then. One was a Cook Strait ferry, they may have had nightwatchmen when at berth. Zawed (talk) 00:49, 25 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• during the Gallipoli Campaign but comma after campaign

• Done. Zawed (talk) 00:49, 25 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• that year but remained and another after year

• Done. Zawed (talk) 00:49, 25 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• During operations around the village of La Basseville, he was noted for his service. Awfully vague. Do you have any more detailed info on his actions there. Was he mentioned in dispatches for this?

• I appreciate the concern here and I did look into it when expanding the article. This line is based on a single sentence in the official history of the Engineers and I wasn't able to find anything further. Zawed (talk) 00:49, 25 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• gain front line experience hyphenate "front line"

• Done. Zawed (talk) 00:49, 25 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• At the time, the VC, instituted in 1856, was the highest award for valour This phrasing implies that there is now a higher award.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 19:29, 12 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• This cropped up in an A-Class review on another VC recipient which had the same wording. I deleted the "At the time," phrasing there and have done so here as well. Zawed (talk) 00:49, 25 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• Almost forgot, image appropriately licensed.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 19:30, 12 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]

• @Sturmvogel 66: Thanks for the review and for the nudge this morning. I have made the necessary corrections and replied as above. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 00:49, 25 April 2018 (UTC)[reply]