The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Nominator: Lindsay658 (talk · contribs)
Reviewer: Maxim Masiutin (talk · contribs) 18:56, 26 March 2024 (UTC)
I will start reviewing this article and come back with my opinion in a day or two. Maxim Masiutin (talk) 18:56, 26 March 2024 (UTC)
I enjoyed reading the article on mr. Collyer, however, I was concerned about lots of ambigous points in the article, so that in its current form the article give more questions that presents the answers. Maxim Masiutin (talk) 20:45, 28 March 2024 (UTC)
According to MOS:INTRO, the lead section should accessible to as broad an audience as possible: where possible, avoid difficult-to-understand terminology, symbols, mathematical equations and formulas; where uncommon terms are essential, they should be placed in context, linked, and briefly defined so that the subject should be placed in a context familiar to a normal reader. Specifically, the term "phreno-magnetism" is linked, but not briefly defined. Please consider defining it brefly in the lead as required by MOS:INTRO. Let me give more details on this objection:
It was mentioned that mr. Collyer was involved in a number of scandals and rivalries, but only one example was given (a claim that he originated inhalation anesthesia for surgery before William T. G. Morton, who is generally credited with the discovery); still, it was not specified in the lead of whether his claim was substantiated or not, and whether William T. G. Morton was indeed the inventor for inhalation anesthesia, and also it was mentioned that William T. G. Morton was "generally credited", but not mentioned by whom (attribution missing), so that the lead section gives more ambiguity than information, so that the lead section could benefit from providing more clarity on these points. pecifically, let me give you more detailed explanation on this issue:
Maxim Masiutin (talk) 20:45, 28 March 2024 (UTC)
Based on the information provided in the article, there are a few important details that appear to be missing or could benefit from further clarification. Could you please expand the article or explain on the talk page on why you didnt' cover the following aspects:
Maxim Masiutin (talk) 20:45, 28 March 2024 (UTC)
The prose is clear, concise, but it is not understandable to an appropriately broad audience straight at the beginning, since the terms like phreno-magnetism" are not defined as required; however, the spelling and grammar are correct. Therefore, the article in its current form does not comply to the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections. While the article is verifiable with no original research, it is not broad enough in coverage, for the reasons I mentioned earlier in the Lead and Body sections. It does not adequately address the main aspects of the topic. Although it is neutral, stable and illustrated, the deficiencies in the lead and body sections and in the lists are major and cannot be quickly fixed by trivial updates. Therefore, I consider that the article does not comply to the good article criteria. However, the article is a potential GA article upon improvement, please consieder imporoving it and submitting again for GA review. As for now, to meet Good Article standards, substantial improvements need addressing core concerns as I mentioned earlier. Therefore, the article does not pass the GA criteria.
Maxim Masiutin (talk) 20:45, 28 March 2024 (UTC)