This review is transcluded from Talk:John George McTavish/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Averageuntitleduser (talk · contribs) 18:49, 13 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Canadian history, my beloved. Comments coming soon! Averageuntitleduser (talk) 18:49, 13 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I did a little rephrasing of the "Early life" section, primarily towards names. Feel free to revert or adjust it!

• I would expand the lead a little bit.
• I'm not sure if Lochlan Mactavish is a viable article. The DCB doesn't have an entry and (this isn't the best indicator, but) the search results are slim. Same for Catherine Aitken Turner, but feel free to contest me.
• he was recruited by Simon McTavish — into what?
• Link "North West Company", and provide a brief descriptor
• I would lengthen "posts" into "trading posts" (with the link)
• While there, he married Charlotte, who was the daughter of John Thomas, the chief of the HBC stationed at Moose Factory. — To clarify that this happened around Hayes Island/Moose Factory, I was thinking: "He often travelled to Hayes Island, near which he married Charlotte, who was the daughter of John Thomas, HBC's chief within Moose Factory."
• in the interior — of what?
• Should "Indigenous" not pipe to "Native Americans in the United States"?

• Thank you for reviewing this article; I greatly appreciate the edits and suggestions given. I have made the changes you suggested here as well as clarifications - if there is anything that is still sticking out as odd please let me know. --GnocchiFan (talk) 20:47, 14 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• It took a bit of searching, but I found out that "interior" is just the common phrase for British Columbia Interior! I did another lil copyedit (feel free to split the paragraphs if you prefer that), and it's looking good! One last thing, would you mind beefing up the lead a little bit? Averageuntitleduser (talk) 22:14, 14 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

  Ah I did look up, but wasn't 100% certain if this was correct. I'll get on with expanding the lead now, thank you so much! GnocchiFan (talk) 10:45, 15 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Earwig shows a remarkably low score of 12%, great work paraphrasing! Everything is cited inline and all sources are reliable.

• Van Kirk, Sylvia (1988). "McTavish (Mactavish), John George". In Halpenny, Francess G (ed.). Dictionary of Canadian Biography. Vol. VII (1836–1850) (online ed.). University of Toronto Press.
  • Looks good Y
• Brown, Jennifer S. H. (1 January 1996). Strangers in Blood: Fur Trade Company Families in Indian Country. University of Oklahoma Press. p. 133. ISBN 978-0-8061-2813-9.
  • Looks good Y
• Van Kirk, Sylvia (1985). "McKenzie, Nancy (McTavish; Le Blanc)". In Halpenny, Francess G (ed.). Dictionary of Canadian Biography. Vol. VIII (1851–1860) (online ed.). University of Toronto Press.
  • Looks good Y
• "Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine". Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine. Vol. 27. William Blackwood. January 1830. p. 964. Retrieved March 14, 2024.
  • Looks good Y
• Miller, J. R. (1 January 1991). Sweet Promises: A Reader on Indian-White Relations in Canada. University of Toronto Press. p. 194. ISBN 978-0-8020-6818-7.
  • Looks good Y

A look at Google Scholar and Google Books shows only mentions, or sources that are already in use. McTavish has an entry in the Dictionary of Manitoba Biography, but it doesn't seem to stray from the DCB.

• I'd mention the children he had within each marriage, 9 daughters in total is pretty noteworthy (5 with Matooskie, two with Turner, and another pair with Cameron)
• Perhaps also the trial in England?

• Thank you;  Done I have mentioned the children and trial (with additional source for the trial; if this is unusable then DCB will suffice). --GnocchiFan (talk) 21:05, 14 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• It looks good! Averageuntitleduser (talk) 22:14, 14 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

This guy seems a bit unsavory, but the article is perfectly objective and impartial.

No recent content disputes or edit wars.

There seems to be a sketch/portrait of McTavish in the book John Rae, Arctic Explorer: The Unfinished Autobiography, but I am not confident. I won't pause the review for it, but I'll try to get the book soon. Otherwise, there doesn't seem to be any other readily available images, so this is still a pass.

A lovely little companion piece to Matsookie, great work!

I quite like the lead! I have no other comments, so I consider this a pass! Averageuntitleduser (talk) 14:51, 15 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]