Resolved comments from H3llkn0wz

[edit]
  • What I meant is this:
Cloud is a 2005 indie puzzle video game developed by a team of students in the University of Southern California's (USC) Interactive Media Program. The team began development of Cloud in January 2005 with a US$20,000 grant from the USC; the game was released as a free download that October. By July 2006, the hosting website had received 6 million visits, and the game had been downloaded 600,000 times.
The game centers on a boy who dreams of flying while asleep in a hospital bed. The concept was partially based on lead designer Jenova Chen's childhood; he was often hospitalized for asthma and would daydream while alone in his room. Assuming the role of the boy, the player flies through a dream world and manipulates clouds to solve puzzles.
Cloud won the Best Student Philosophy award at the 2006 Slamdance Guerilla Games Competition, and a Student Showcase award at the 2006 Independent Games Festival. The game was well received by critics, who cited its visuals, music, and relaxing atmosphere as high points. Chen and producer Kellee Santiago went on to co-found the studio Thatgamecompany, which has considered remaking Cloud as a commercial video game.
versus
Cloud is a 2005 indie puzzle video game developed by a team of students in the University of Southern California's (USC) Interactive Media Program. The game centers on a boy who dreams of flying while asleep in a hospital bed. The concept was partially based on lead designer Jenova Chen's childhood; he was often hospitalized for asthma and would daydream while alone in his room. Assuming the role of the boy, the player flies through a dream world and manipulates clouds to solve puzzles.
The team began development of Cloud in January 2005 with a US$20,000 grant from the USC; the game was released as a free download that October. By July 2006, the hosting website had received 6 million visits, and the game had been downloaded 600,000 times. Cloud won the Best Student Philosophy award at the 2006 Slamdance Guerilla Games Competition, and a Student Showcase award at the 2006 Independent Games Festival. The game was well received by critics, who cited its visuals, music, and relaxing atmosphere as high points. Chen and producer Kellee Santiago went on to co-found the studio Thatgamecompany, which has considered remaking Cloud as a commercial video game.
I don't think it's a big stretch, but I'll leave it at your discretion. —  HELLKNOWZ  ▎TALK 15:43, 28 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Well, I don't like to have three paras of 3 sentences each, but I do like the order of yours better. Combined your first two paras, but other than that went with your model. --PresN 17:25, 28 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • I see what you mean. Perhaps then the redundant "above them" is not necessary? After all, clouds being "above" is implied the same way island implies surfacing above water. —  HELLKNOWZ  ▎TALK 15:43, 28 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Linked to Player character, but kept avatar- I'm using the term because the boy is still in the hospital bed, this is the dream version of him. --PresN 17:48, 27 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I would rewrite it to something like "The idea for the game was partially based on Chen's childhood experience, as he was often hospitalized.." to keep it simple. —  HELLKNOWZ  ▎TALK

  • Did the first one, but not the second- the rule is that you put a comma in the quote where there would be a period if it's not the end of your sentence, but what about if you're using a semicolon? Looked weird with that inside. --PresN 17:48, 27 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Well, that discussion was about not listing the specific roles that people had in the infobox- I'm not (Chen doesn't say lead designer, Santiago doesn't say Producer, etc.) They all helped design/create the game, so to cut it off short of the full seven seems to be disingenuous. I don't think it's too long as it is. --PresN 17:48, 27 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Second page, second-to-last paragraph- "Everything about Cloud is simply jaw-dropping. The music. The artwork, both in-game and between levels. The vista, as you're flying free through the sky, high over islands that dot the sea. The controls are unique and startlingly intuitive (play the first few levels for tutorials, and hit F1 at any time for help)." --PresN 17:25, 28 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • No, I really prefer to link to the start of the article if it's not too long- the same way that linking to a pdf starts you on page one. If it's buried in there I would provide a page number, but the article mentions Cloud on the first page and then has a whole heading section devoted to it on the second, so I didn't think it was hard to find. --PresN 20:07, 29 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
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