Artemy Vedel

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I've listed this article for peer review because I'm keen to get it to become a FA (if I succeed it will be the first one for me that isn't about a Norfolk topic)

Thanks, Amitchell125 (talk) 21:56, 7 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

STANDARD NOTE: I have added this PR to the Template:FAC peer review sidebar to get quicker and more responses. When this PR is closed, please remove it from the list. Also, consider adding the sidebar to your userpage to help others discover pre-FAC PRs, and please review other articles in that template. Thanks! Z1720 (talk) 16:36, 10 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Gerda

Thank you for a good article about a man who is known too little!

Lead

Capital removed.
Not as far as I am aware.
Done.
Please could you clarify what you mean?
I think a link to Music of Italy is too broad, and links to Italian Opera#18th century and perhaps Concerto grosso might be better. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 14:05, 10 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
 Done apart from the last one. Amitchell125 (talk) 13:47, 10 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

 Done Amitchell125 (talk) 16:04, 10 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

TOC

Sorry, can you clarify what you mean here? Amitchell125 (talk) 14:01, 10 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Background

 Partly done Amitchell125 (talk) 20:57, 10 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Family

 Not done I've uploaded an image of the (now destroyed) church onto WikiCommons, but there's no evidence the family attended it, only that they lived in the parish. Amitchell125 (talk) 16:48, 10 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Moscow

Done.
Sorted.
Period added.
 Done Amitchell125 (talk) 17:35, 10 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Levanidov

Done.
Concerts is the correct term.
There are no quotations—they are the names of works, but I've put them in sentence case, which looks better.
I looked before, and found nothing, but I'll look again.
 Done Amitchell125 (talk) 16:58, 10 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Novice

Agreed, word replaced.
( Done Amitchell125 (talk) 17:38, 10 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Imprisonment

Done.
Done.
 Done Amitchell125 (talk) 17:03, 10 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Composition

 Done Amitchell125 (talk) 17:46, 10 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Style

Done.
Done
 Done Amitchell125 (talk) 20:29, 10 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Censorship

 Done Amitchell125 (talk) 14:04, 10 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Revival

Done.
Done.
 Done Amitchell125 (talk) 19:43, 10 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Recognition

I'm afraid not, it seems he got put on a commemorative stamp.

--Gerda Arendt (talk) 02:36, 10 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

You've "done" a lot, - go for FAC and I can support. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 13:23, 11 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Tim riley

Not much from me. The article looks pretty much ready for FAC I think.

  • The article is clearly in BrE, and impeccable in that regard – with the exception of the persistent –ize endings, which despite dogged rearguard resistance from the Oxford University Press is now old hat in British usage. (The Times and the Cambridge University Press switched to –ise endings quite some time ago.) I don't say –ize endings are wrong, by any means, but in modern BrE they look both quaint and alien at the same time. But you must, of course, stick to your preferences if you have strong views on the matter.
Sorted.
  • You blue-link rather too many words that seem to me to be everyday expressions: choral, chapel, patron, Russian, biography, operatic, infantry, chapel (again), decreed, patronage, depressed, censored, plaque. And we have duplicate links to Baroque music, St. Petersburg State Academic Capella, Russian Empire, Dmitry Bortniansky and musicologist. One apiece is the usual rule, and it saves the reader from being smacked in the eyeball with a barrage of blue.
Done.
  • You refer to the then capital of Russia as "St. Petersburg", but our article on the city calls it "Saint Petersburg". I don't know if this matters or not, but I just mention it.
Done.
 Done Amitchell125 (talk) 21:29, 10 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "as one of the 'Golden Three' composers" – double quotes, rather than single, are specified by the Manual of Style.
Sorted.
  • "Most of his choral music, uses texts" – unexpected comma
Sorted.
 Done Amitchell125 (talk) 07:27, 11 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • 'singing in parts' – single quotes, as above
Done.
  • "the most notable name in Russian music" – this could do with a citation.
Text expanded and cited.
  • "classical influences ... such as four-voice polyphony" – the association of polyphony with the classical era seems strange, but perhaps I have the wrong end of the stick.
I don't think there's a problem here.
 Done Amitchell125 (talk) 08:10, 11 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the Italian operatic composer Giuseppe Sarti who spent 18 years as a composer" – composer twice in one sentence – could be smoother
 Done Amitchell125 (talk) 08:12, 11 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "After 9 years' imprisonment" – I don't know of any firm rule, but I think it is usual to write numbers up to and including ten as words and to use digits for 11 onwards.
Done.
  • "permission for a proper funeral, even though Vedel had been incarcerated in an asylum" – are we to take it that in the Russian Empire of the time people who had been in an asylum were usually not allowed a proper funeral? You ought to make this plain, if so.
Looking again at the text in Ukrainian (a friend helps me with such matters), I've amended the sentence, as it's not clear that all patients were denied proper funeral. It was more that Vedel was a political prisoner.
 Done Amitchell125 (talk) 09:45, 11 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "an All-night vigil" – the capital A looks rather odd.
 Done Amitchell125 (talk) 10:52, 11 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Musicologists consider Vedel ... to previously unknown levels" – does citation 2 cover all 254 words and three separate statements here?
 Done Amitchell125 (talk) 11:02, 11 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I hope these comments are of use. Please let me know when you go to FAC. – 08:38, 10 November 2022 (UTC)

Afterthought: there are some recordings of Vedel's music: see here (WorldCat). If there's enough in there you might perhaps add a "Recordings" subsection to the Music section. Tim riley talk 09:28, 10 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
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