The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Hello again! I was going to offer comments at your next peer review request but I suppose a GAN is just as good. I've also been trying to improve my GA karma since I've been nominating so many articles, so I hope it is fine if I review this!--NØ 17:30, 6 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Since the article title is building superintendent, I think it would be okay to use this instead of making it "building's superintendent"
That makes sense to me. I think I was way over-thinking this part. Aoba47 (talk) 21:19, 6 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"Friedle was initially cast in Off Centre, a sitcom for The WB Television Network, but appeared in The Random Years after being replaced by Eddie Kaye Thomas." -- I'd add "in the former" at the end of this sentence so no one's confused about which show Thomas replaced him in
It is always best to be as transparent as possible to avoid any potential confusion. I have revised this part using your suggestion. Aoba47 (talk) 21:19, 6 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"Although certain cast members were praised by reviewers, other critics were more negative of them as a whole" -- Is "them" referring to the cast here? This is just a doubt I had, I don't think a change is required.
That is a fair point. Although you said a change is not necessary, I still made a minor adjustment as I do not want to leave any room for potential misinterpretation or confusion. Aoba47 (talk) 21:19, 6 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"Wiseman only became a dental technician upon her suggestion and is not interested in becoming a dentist" -- Nitpicky but "became" and "becoming" are similar so maybe this could be reworded
I greatly appreciate nitpick-y comments as I want the article to be in the best possible shape. I have revised this part. Aoba47 (talk) 21:27, 6 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"The unemployed Todd does not have any plans for his future, and instead relies on schemes and is frequently show watching television" -- Are there any sources that could be used to clarify what type of schemes he relies upon? Sorry if this is obvious and I'm just missing something, lol. I also think "show" should be "shown"
It should be "shown" so I have revised that part. Unfortunately, none of the sources were particularly clear on these "schemes". No need to apologize as it is not obvious really at all. I'd be more than happy to hear any suggestions for this part. It may be best to remove this part entirely if it is too vague to be understood. Aoba47 (talk) 21:27, 6 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"Critics compared Wiseman to Cosmo Kramer from the sitcom Seinfeld, writing that both have uncontrollable and are idiot savants" -- Something about "both have uncontrollable" reads a little funny, maybe "both are uncontrollable"?
Sorry. I forgot a word there. It should be "uncontrollable hair". Apologies for that. Aoba47 (talk) 21:27, 6 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"Casey works as a temp worker" - A little repetitive, not a problem on the GA level but this would probably get brought up at FAC
"the music done by Bruce and Jason Miller" -- Do we know what their specific role was? Like composing, writing, etc.?
Unfortunately, the citation just lists them as "music" so I cannot say for sure. Apologies for that. Aoba47 (talk) 21:30, 6 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Since New York City is not linked, I think LA is too well-known to need a wikilink as well.
I agree and I have removed the wikilink per your suggestion. Aoba47 (talk) 21:30, 6 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"Prior to the show's production, Will Friedle was scheduled to star in Off Centre, a sitcom for The WB Television Network, before he was replaced by Eddie Kaye Thomas" -- "before being replaced" might work better
"Premiering on March 5, 2022" -- Shouldn't this say "2002"? I was confused upon seeing the 2022 premiere date but the refs being from 2002, lol
Apparently, I really wanted a 2022 reboot of this show (not really though lol). I have revised it to the correct date. Aoba47 (talk) 21:30, 6 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"Episodes airing on March 12 has lost two-thirds of the viewers from its lead-in program Buffy the Vampire Slayer." -- This would sound more correct without "has"
I am not sure how that word snuck in there. I have revised it out. Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 21:30, 6 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
I'm unfamiliar with how it works in these types of tables, but do the full names of Diamond, Lisbe, Reger, Goldstein need to be repeated after being mentioned once?
That is a good question. I believe that is the case as the television FAs I have seen do this, but it does get quite repetitive though so I understand why it looks weird, especially since it is done in such a small table. Aoba47 (talk) 21:32, 6 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
No other concerns I can think of for this section!
Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 21:32, 6 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"and Kronke said the episodes would have benefits from better scripts" -- This would sound better as "and Kronke said the episodes would benefit from better scripts" or if at least "benefits" was singular
Yikes! I am not sure how that happened. I intended to use what you suggested, but something must have happened along the way. Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 21:34, 6 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
The sources all look top quality and I appreciate the inclusion of so many newspapers and print articles
Thank you! I try my best to be as comprehensive as possible. I am very grateful for the Wikipedia Library for providing access to so many databases, specifically Newspapers.com. I like to think that this article could be the best comprehensive resource for the show for anyone interested in it and it is nice to appreciate the television journalists that write all of these articles in the first place. Aoba47 (talk) 21:37, 6 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Agreed. Both of these are really a boon while writing about this type of topic!--NØ 02:26, 7 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Very few things to be done here so I'll place it on hold!--NØ 17:30, 6 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@MaranoFan: Thank you for your review! You have helped to improve the article immensely. Apologies for the silly mistakes. I kind of got caught up in working on this article that I did not take as much time to really re-read everything as carefully as I should have. I honestly did not expect this nomination to be picked up for a review so quickly so I appreciate that!
Anyway, I believe that I have addressed everything, but please let me know if there is anything that could be improved further. Best of luck with your examinations. I am sure you will do great! Aoba47 (talk) 21:39, 6 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
No worries. I think the article being well-researched and comprehensive is way more important than a few small mistakes. And I'm sure your genius use of the PR process will weed out anything I might have missed here. Hope you are able to enjoy your wikibreak more with this out of the way!--NØ 02:26, 7 September 2022 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.