I've read through this article, and I must say that it looks pretty good. However, I haven't yet given a comprehensive look at certain aspects, so it's a little too soon for me to decide anything. I'm very busy lately, so please bear with me if it takes me a while to finish reviewing. Cheers, TwilightHelryx03:35, 10 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Prose is mostly decent, but still needs work in some places. Try to avoid including trivial details. Here are a few things that I'm particularly concerned about:
There are a few unnecessary parentheses in Population features. Try to integrate parenthesized parts into the rest of the sentences or move them to new sentences.
"It is diurnal, becoming active at sunrise when it basks (for thermoregulation) for several hours before feeding." This sentence is a bit awkward. Try to better integrate the thermoregulation part into the sentence.
"The turtles generally emerge from early March to mid-April (depending on how long cold temperatures persist), when the ice cover of the water-body (if indeed it hibernated in water) has completely disappeared." First parentheses (italicized) could be better integrated into sentence. Second parentheses (also italicized) seems to be original research, though I can't tell because of the source. If the source does say so, please reword it.
This is by no means a complete list; you may wish to seek the aid of a copy-editor.
The charts in the Taxonomy and Fossil Record sections are informative, but I've seen GA's similar to this article containing the same type of information well expressed in prose. See if you can do that.
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:
This article has a very good potential. However, there are still issues that need to be resolved, including some copy-editing ones. If you can do so within the next 7 days, I'll gladly pass this article. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me on my talk page. =) --TwilightHelryx22:56, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Replies
Parenthetic material from Population features has been incorporated with the regular text.
"It is diurnal, becoming active at sunrise when it basks (for thermoregulation) for several hours before feeding" has been changed to "It is diurnal and starts its day at sunrise, when it basks for several hours before feeding."
The third sentence you brought up was awkwardly worded, it has been changed to "The turtles emerge from early March to mid-April, when the ice cover of the water-body (if indeed it hibernated in water) has completely disappeared." All its saying is that, for those painted turtles that do hibernate underwater (not all of them do), emergence happens after the ice cover has melted.
A copy-editor is being contacted as I write this sentence.
That's good. =) As for the "original research" comment, I was thrown off by the way it was written and, in hindsight, shouldn't have labeled it as such. =X Anyways, keep up the good work! Cheers, TwilightHelryx00:28, 12 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks! I have another question: I'm all for proper references, but I'm unsure how number 55 ("Species Identification") is incorrect? Looking through, it's cited the same way current refs 1, 5, and 43 are. Am I missing something? NYMFan69-86 (talk) 02:43, 12 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Ah, that would be a case of "accidental overlook". That would be a note to myself be more careful. Anyways, they aren't proper formatting for citations. The formatting should be using MLA-style formatting, which the templates are set up by. ;) --TwilightHelryx02:51, 12 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I'm having a little trouble figuring out what other information I can include other than the URL, page title, and date accessed. Is that a clue to not use those websites?--NYMFan69-86 (talk) 03:00, 12 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Or do you mean you can't find those info? If that's the case, then you technically can do without, though there should be a publisher somewhere.--TwilightHelryx03:07, 12 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, will reformat within the next ten minutes probably. Also, the information from the egg production chart has been incorporated into the prose. --NYMFan69-86 (talk) 03:17, 12 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Let's talk table
Okay, the second one (concerning the fossil record) I think can be incorporated into the prose much the same way it is in the lead: "remains from many areas within its current range have been found and dated to as far back as 16,300,000 to 13,600,000 BP." Would this work, even though it's not nearly as precise?--NYMFan69-86 (talk) 16:15, 12 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Looking again, I don't think we need to get rid of this chart. The info inside would make the prose too wordy. Still, I think that you should include some information into the paragraph. The one you showed me would work. =)--TwilightHelryx22:03, 12 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Remaining concerns
I've been going through and copy-editing...are there any particular sections/paragraphs/sentences that are really bad? Also, is there anything more to concern B above?--NYMFan69-86 (talk) 23:44, 14 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
There doesn't appear to be any tight concentration at the moment. However, most paragraphs have at least one sentence that needs copyediting. All MoS issues appear to be fixed. =) --TwilightHelryx20:55, 15 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]